Hall of Fame: Pro Football

We really don't care about Irvin's drug issues, we care more about his "stabbing a teammate in the neck with a pair of scissors" issues. That transgression occurred in Cowboys training camp, roughly a month before the 1998 season. That whole thing stemmed from an argument over which Cowboy was more suited for a haircut, Irvin or incoming guard Everett McIver. While McIver was already in the chair mid-cut, Irvin attempted to evict him by shouting "Seniority!" angrily. He yelled it three more times before screaming "Punk get the fuck out of my chair!"

Even though McIver was in his fifth season in the league, Irvin really wanted that haircut. After a fellow lineman told McIver "You're no fuckin' rookie. He can't tell you what to do," the 6'5", 325 lbs. McIver got up and shoved Irvin who shoved back, McIver punched Irvin, when another massive lineman (Leon Lett) tried to tear the two apart, but before he could Irvin grabbed a pair of scissors, stabbed McIver two inches deep above the collarbone, and missed his carotid artery (i.e. probable death) by centimeters.

At that point blood spurted everywhere, which we assume looked like this. Irvin went onto a 1,000 yard season, before a career ending neck injury the year afterward. McIver played with Dallas through 1999 and then retired without fanfare from the NFL.