Roots For: Bears, Blackhawks, Cubs
Most major market teams have signature, high-profile fans they can be proud of. The Yankees have Jay-Z and LeBron James, the Lakers have Jack Nicholson and Justin Timberlake, the Mets have Jon Stewart and Jerry Seinfeld, but Chicago's been forcibly saddled with Jim Belushi—which is utterly humiliating.

If ABC's renewed a third-rate sitcom, you can bet Jim Belushi will be at Soldier Field to promote it and, while he's yapping, spit some generic football banter. John's less funny, much douchier younger brother wouldn't know Curtis Conway from Ron Karkovice, but has no problem shamelessly groveling about the Chicago sports like a disinterested prostitute on a comedown.