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It's Monday morning after a long holiday weekend, and the last thing you want to do is be stuck at class or work. We got you covered. Nothing makes the day go by better than some old-fashioned slander. We decided to back track through music history and showcase the most awful tracks about sneakers — there's been more than you might think. Hit the jump to check out The 15 Worst Songs About Sneakers and give us your thoughts in the comments.
Nelly - Stepped On My Jz
15. "Stepped On My J'z"
Artist: Nelly
Nelly had the whole world screaming for two purrs with "Air Force Ones," but a few years later he made an anthem for all you dudes buggin' out over your Js and Jumpmanned the shark. Hey, even Jordan missed a few shots. But seriously, what the hell is with that skit at the beginning?
Nina Sky – Kicks and My New Dress
14. "Kicks and My New Dress"
Artist: Nina Sky
Remixing a hot track is never an easy task. When Nina Sky went over Cassidy and Swizzy's "Drink and My Two Step" they didn't really do anything new over the beat that grabs the listener's attention, although we do give them +1 for actually pairing their sneakers with dresses.
Chingy - Brand New Kicks
13. "Brand New Kicks"
Artist: Chingy
Chingy had a few crazy hits but for the most part he just came off very corny. Even Cash Money's former Hall of Fame producer Mannie Fresh couldn't save him from embarrassment on this one.
The Cars – Lust For Kicks
12. "Lust For Kicks"
Artist: The Cars
The Cars are pretty dope, but the whiny emo hook and the use of "plastic sneakers" to describe what appears to be a bad boy. I'm just saying, they could do better.
Wale - Kicks
11. "Kicks"
Artist: Wale
In all fairness Wale, has some of the greatest tracks about sneakers, especially "Nike Boots," but "Kicks" sounds like it was produced on a Fisher Price My First Beatmaker and Wale's flawless flow lacks a real sense of urgency on the track. We don't fuck with this musically.
D4L – Check My Foot Work
10. "Check My Footwork"
Artist: D4L
Admit it, "Laffy Taffy" was a staple at your college parties for a semester but no one was really checking for D4L after that. "Check My Footwork" is a prime example why.
Mickey Factz - I Like Your Supras
9. "I Like Your Supras"
Artist: Micky Factz
There's no doubt that Micky Factz can spit but "I Like Your Supras" feels too forced and the hook sounded like everything else at the time. Plus, no chick has ever tried getting with a dude over Supras, never that.
Chingy – Nike Aurr's & Crispy Tees
8. "Nike Aurr’s & Crispy Tees"
Artist: Chingy
A two-time offender on our list, Chingy borrowed Nelly's drawn out "r" to try and get his own Finish Line anthem. Fortunately for you, this is probably your first time hearing this.
Huey - adidas
7. "adidas"
Artist: Huey
Shouts to the all the things that make adidas classic. This track just ain't one of them. If adidas was cuttin' a check on this track, we hope they got a refund. And DMC should smack Huey just for livin'.
Xzibit – Movin In Ya Chucks
6. "Movin' In Ya Chucks"
Artist: Xzibit
The beat actually goes pretty hard in the whip, but at this point in Xzibit's career, his rhymes were dippin' quickly. Around the same time The Pack was getting rich off Vans, it seemed like Mr. X to the Z was trying to hard to get a ringtone paycheck or two.
Ron Carroll – Walking Down The Street
5. "Walking Down The Street"
Artist: Ron Carroll
This ranks up there with Mighty Casey's "White Girls" for songs that popped up on BET late at night that you hoped were jokes. Nope, this is all too real.
Mario - Nikes Fresh Out The Box
4. "Nikes Fresh Out The Box"
Artist: Mario
We can't front, Mario has a few joints on our sensitive thug playlist but we don't need to hear homie crooning over sneakers like it was his ex he wanted back. This is just too fuckin' weird.
Soulja Boy – I Got Me Some Bapes
3. "I Got Me Some Bapes"
Artist: Soulja Boy
We have to credit Soulja Boy for his run of catchy songs and dances but when we couldn't even log onto MySpace back in the day (whatever, you did too) without hearing this garbage on everyone's profile page and then FAPE sneakers started coming out everywhere—SB's to blame.
Far East Movement - Fetish
2. "Fetish"
Artist: Far East Movement
"G6" was so fly but "Fetish" feels like the unofficial anthem for e-thugs who do nothing but talk shit on Nike Talk and stalk Supreme releases online. Not that we know anyone like that.
Vanessa Hudgens - Sneakernight
1. "Sneakernight"
Artist: Vanessa Hudgens
There aren't many things we criticize Vanessa Hudgens for, especially not the use of her cell phone camera, but unfortunately "Sneakernight" might be one of the worst songs of all-time, period. We can still kick it though, right?