Like most, I've probably never uttered a kind word about snakes in my entire life. Something about these squeamish, legless creatures just capsizes my ability to enjoy the outdoors with reckless abandon — making the indoors my natural habitat. However, snakes occasionally breach this unspoken social contract — making their presence known (and felt) in the places you would least expect.
In fact, today we have news of snakes incidentally invading the world of public transportation. Inspiring a relentless barrage of Snakes on a [Motherfucking] Plane jokes, someone apparently left a bag of snakes unattended on the F train — rendering an entire bench totally unoccupied. A brave commuter by the name of Hiram Becker passed on visual documentation of the unattended bag of snakes to Gothamist, stating that he originally had headphones on and didn't notice why the bench was empty. "[I] just thought, oh, that dude left his backpack there," Beckers says. "Then I went to sit down and noticed he had some snakes."
This just in: I'm still afraid of snakes.