You Can Blame Netflix For The Next Kevin James Movie

The upcoming Kevin James "comedy" entitled "The True Memoirs of an International Assassin" will debut on Netflix.

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Complex Original

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I suppose the future looks illogically bright when your latest film boasts a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 13% on Metacritic. Of course, the person in question is Kevin James — and the film on trial here is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, better known as the second 90-minute Segway commercial blasphemously billing itself as a "comedy" of some sort.

Following their rocky deal with Adam Sandler, Netflix just announced a similarly disappointing prospect — the Kevin Smith "comedy" The True Memoirs of an International Assassin. According to Variety, True Memoirs follows James as "an accountant mistaken for an assassin when a novel he’s writing is accidentally published as nonfiction." Presumably, James will escape on a Segway while mistaking graceless farce for actual comedy.

Admittedly, James was rather affable in the tolerably charming Will Smith romantic comedy Hitch, and we can hardly argue against the fact that Netflix is simply just answering the market's sadistic hunger for Sandleresque trash compactors of culture. However, Netflix (et al.) truly is the future (the present, really) — and we should all work together to make the future funnier than Paul Blart: Mall Cop.


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