As soon as everyone heard about this whole David Cameron "may or may not have put his penis inside a dead pig's mouth" thing, immediate reactions were mostly just a coupling of "?!?" and "What will John Oliversay?" Thankfully, Oliver returned to his HBO throne on Sunday to deliver his thoughts on the great #PigGate scandal, clearly excited by the seemingly endless amount of uncomfortable laughter inherent in a scandal involving both fellatio and dead animals.
"Bizarre is a kind way of describing it,” Oliver offered, before launching into much better ways of describing it. “Because the actual allegation is that a dead pig’s head was resting in the lap of a dining club member, and then, and I quote, 'The future PM inserted a private part of his anatomy into the animal’s mouth.’ Yes. This book actually contains a claim that David Cameron once put his dick in a dead pig’s mouth. This is just the word of a single source published in an unauthorized biography. We do not know if this is true. But please, please let it be true, because a prime minister receiving oral copulation from a dead pig hits the perfect sweet spot between one of the most horrific things ever and one of the most amazing things ever.”
Thankfully, Oliver didn't stop there. In addition to defending a Wright Stuff caller who brazenly delivered the line "...putting his cock in a dead pig's mouth" on air, Oliver offered a few far more comprehensive alternatives. “Consider the alternatives," Oliver told his presumably non-pig viewers. "'David Cameron was sucked-and-fucked by a Christmas ham.’ Is that better? ‘David Cameron received an unenthusiastic blowie from one-third of a BLT.’ Do you prefer that? You tell me a delicate way to put this!"