Whenever John Oliver decides it's time to take a brief (and definitely well-earned) break from dropping an endless series of truth bombs on the United States of America via his HBO powerhouse Last Week Tonight, the nation generally descends into tactless chaos. Thankfully, Oliver has returned with quite a televised bone to pick: the sad and unsurprisingly depressing world of public defenders.

After outlining the fact that many public defenders, such as those based in Fresno, handle as many as 1,000 cases per year (which roughly amounts to at least three each day), Oliver outlined his decidedly progressive plan for reform. “With caseloads that heavy, public defenders cannot possibly prepare an effective defense,” says Oliver. “A study in New Orleans found the city had some part-time defenders who could only spend an average of seven minutes per case. And that is not long enough to prepare anything. If I only had seven minutes to prepare this show, I would definitely not be talking about public defenders right now. I’d be desperately trying to fill time by listing the Muppets in order of fuckability.”

Oliver then enlisted the fake law enforcement officials of The Wire and Law & Order to give an updated, depressingly more accurate version of the infamous Miranda warning. In short, if you ever feel you need to utilize the services of these profoundly overworked public defenders, you're most likely fucked.