25 Things Every Retro Gamer Must Own

Image via Complex Original

Because, believe it or not, it came out over a decade ago and was Sega's last console. RIP, Dreamcast.

Because it wasn't always ten year olds calling you talking garbage over the Internet. They used to do it right next to you on your couch.

Because pfffffffff! Pffffffff! doesn't always work.

It didn't matter the title. They all played like shit and we loved them.

Because you got Mario AND a gun to shoot at a ducks (and a dog) with.

Because Mr. Dream sucks. We want Iron Mike!

Because it still has your file of Metal Gear Solid on it.

Because it's the most loving tribute to arcade games since...well, ever.

Because up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start saves lives.

Because even though no games use it today, it's still a good reminder that you've always been a cheater. Even at seven.

Because there is no finer old-school soundtrack in all of video game history.

Because we hear it goes with anything.

Because we will always love the Power Glove. It's so bad.

Because nothing shouts "old-school" better than a game with Michael Jackson where he rescues children and it didn't warrant snickers at the time.

Because your Princess is in another castle...and you want to buy said castle and kick her royal ass out.

Because the classics are so much better on a mug.

Because you need to use your iPod for SOMETHING now that you just got the Samsung Galaxy s4. Why not "Alien Invaders"?

Because no matter what year it is, you're still playing with power!

Because you always were a Sega fanboy growing up. Admit it.

Because you always wanted to live in the Mushroom Kingdom? Why not start now?

Because why drink out of a Disney mug when you can drink your Moutain Dew from a Missle Command glass?

Because if you DIDN'T beat the 8 Master Robots, then you don't deserve to call yourself a retro gamer in the first place.

Because nobody can say "motherfucker" like the Nerd when it comes to vintage, crappy games from our childhoods.

Because they don't make games like these anymore. Oh, and pffffffff! Pfffffff! (The sound of blowing in a cartridge. What's more retro than that?)

Because it's a good reminder of where the first whistle was in Super Mario Bros. 3.