Image via Complex Original
Be scared, boys. Be very scared.
OnHeTexted.com, ladies are able to put guys on blast by posting some of the more ridiculous texts that they get. And it's not just the picture of the text. There's a comment board. And as anyone who's ever read a YouTube comment can attest to, online comment boards can be harsh!
Booty calls. Drunk dials. Pathetic attempts. They're all there.
Check out some of the funniest texts from this website. But first, cross your fingers that you're not one of them. Because let's be honest, guys, we've all done it. We just wouldn't condone doing it anymore.
You've been warned, fellas.
The Mailman
Sure, pal. Because people need to send away for phones these days. How did it arrive? The Pony Express? A carrier pigeon?
This One May Work At Comic-Con
He's looking to put the bang in the big bang theory.
It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas
Trying to instigate a threesome with the initial booty call text? Something like that could potentially ruin the booty call altogether! That takes balls.
Smooth Operator
Really though, how could that've possibly worked?
To Be Blunt
You know your relationship isn't headed in the right direction when a guy meets your weed dealer before your mom.
Shakespeare
In one 12 word text, this guy somehow managed to reference cocaine once and his junk twice. What a wordsmith!
The Jeweler
It'd be funny if this guy just chose his words poorly and was left waiting at that nice restaurant by himself, with a box from Tiffany's in his pocket.
Classroom Casanova
We give this guy points for not beating around the bush, pun not intended.
Taco Tuesday
We're going to go out on a limb here and guess that this gal wasn't too psyched to have her genitals referred to as "taco meat."
Eskimo Sex Tape
This sounds like a line from a Lifetime original drama.
What a Dreamboat
Because all women feel honored to give a guy morning wood. Sure.
Using the Nerd
Dude, if you're the kind of guy who girls put in their phones as "Scott the NERD," you should be happy you're getting laid at all. Beggars can't be choosers.
Testing, Testing
Oh this guy's so sweet. If she's clean, he's going to buy her a California roll! What a keeper!
The Foodie
Depending on where he plans on putting that wasabi mustard, there could be a trip to the hospital in this couple's future.
Dr. Feelgood
Wait a second. This guy's a doctor and his name is Twagz? Did he go to the same medical school as Dr. Dre and Dr. Pepper?
Baby Mama Drama
Wow! This dude planned a three-year trip to Australia in a little over half an hour. We're impressed.
Let's Scrub That Communism Off Ya'
Guys, never use the word "communism" in a sexy text. Seriously. This is first-day-of-class stuff here.
Meet the Parents
You really want your parents to meet a dude who texts you with, "sex was cool the other day"? Besides Beavis and Butt-Head, who refers to sex as being cool?
Pure Class
Where did he leave your phone? In the bong on the porch, next to the dignity he stole from you.
Playing the Twilight Card
Hopefully this girl is over 18.
