Image via Complex Original
Everyone has issues that they would not want exposed and in video games, the same holds true but we will never, ever fess up to it. In public we will deny the existence of our unflattering quirks but behind closed doors, under the lights of our TVs and monitors we know the truth.
From being constant whiners to judgemental know-it-alls, all gamers have been at some point guilty of proving these 12 Truths About Gamers They Would Never Admit. Hopefully, you'll be able to read through the entire list before punching a hole through the computer screen in an untethered gamer rage.
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They Think They Know Everything
Nothing pleases a gamer more than calling you out on some obscure fact about a video game character that no one else cares about. They lay in wait like a sniper in battle for someone to mention a game they've played only to have the "expert" jump in and correct them with the original Japanese version of the title and how many dumps the creator took coming up with it.
Personal Hygiene At Conventions Are Not A Priority
One of the dirty secrets of the video games community is the collection of body odors experienced at conventions. By the second day of a big convention like the Penny Arcade Expo, everyone's eyes are burning not from being up late the previous night, but because of the nerdy fog of B.O. lingering in the halls.
Gamers Are Judgemental
We're not talking about just racism or sexism, this is about hardcore and casual, noob and elite, Bezerker and Sage. Video game aficionados love to put each other into categories and judge each other accordingly. A conversation between fans comparing Xbox to PlayStation could get just as ugly as one comparing Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac.
Gamers Who Are Into Women Are Turned On By Hot Female Video Game Characters
Yes, it's sick and twisted but it's true. Half-naked, female characters in video games appeal to the sexual sensibilities of people who are into women. There really shouldn't be a need to go into a birds and bees conversation since we're all adults here. No one gender should be objectified but the fact is that anyone can fall victim to images of pixelated flesh. There's even a good chance that more than a few hearts fluttered over the booty and bulges in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.
Every Gamer Is A Fanboy/Fangirl
As much as gamers love to wax on about how much of a fanboy/fangirl they're not, there is a game, console or accessories company that they would marry if they could. Not to say that there's anything wrong with respecting and being loyal to a brand but just admit it and stop fronting.
They Like Violent Video Games
Like anyone else with an adrenal gland, watching violence play out in a virtual world is interesting to fans of video games. There's a reason why the number of successful games that happen to have violence in them is larger than the ones without. Angry because we said it? Good, just wait until Journey starts getting blamed for cruelty against sand.
Gamers Are Cynical
Video gamers are by and large the most pessimistic bunch you will come across. No matter what a video game company does, it's going to suck. That is unless you create a 2D platformer all alone in a closet. You might catch a break or get called out for not thinking out of the box enough.
A Gamer Would Totally Steal A Video Game
There is always a gamer that would boast about how they would pay $60 for a game if it had this or that. Whatever, if stealing and running video games were as easy as it is with music and video, every video game company would have to go free-to-play. So stop lying, the parrot on your shoulder and wooden peg leg are giving you away.
Male Gamers Are Sexist Pigs
No guy wants to be Family Guy's Quagmire or Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother but the truth is that it's in every human with a Y chromosome. Even if you've never told a woman on Xbox Live to go make you a sandwich, you've thought about it. More than once.
Female Gamers Are Always Offended
Women into video games are all patiently waiting for you to say something out of pocket so they can explode with outrage. Try it out guys, call a woman into video games, "a woman" and see what happens. Guaranteed, you'll be met with the response, "what do you mean woman?'"
They Fit At Least One Popular Stereotype About Gamers
From girlfriendless dweebs to awkward women with pig tails and steampunk-inspired corsets, there is at least one stereotype that every gamer fits exactly. But what's wrong with that? Every member of a culture is going to have similarities if they're all into the same thing. Accept and embrace it nerds, you'll be a lot happier.
Gamers Love To Complain
If you ever plan on putting out a video game know this, someone who has never put out a game in their life will tell you how much of the job you didn't do. From plot to pixel, the gamer will explain (via message board somewhere) how lazy and unimaginitave the story is and what needed to happen in order to make it a good game. Mind you, this dance happens with every video game that comes out. Too bad the Einstein behind the keyboard doesn't code. We'd love to see their masterpiece.