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Halloween is coming up soon, which means people love getting into spooky shit this time of year. But sometimes scary can be sexy. Scarily sexy. Like, have you ever been turned on and equally disturbed by something? I had initially pitched a ranking of horror movie hotties which made my editors think I wanted to write about, like, Johnny Depp from Nightmare on Elm Street. But no way, I totally meant, like, Freddy Krueger. We're always so focused on how deformed these scary movie monsters are that we end up overlooking what dreamboats they can be. I'm here to change that dated point of view. Which brings me to this: our DEFINITIVE ranking of the sexiest horror movie villains (and no, there's no Pennywise from It because I still can't find ANYTHING remotely sexy about clowns). This isn't just Freddy vs. Jason, y'all; this is Freddy vs. Jason vs. Leatherface vs. Michael Myers—in a fight for the title of the SEXIEST horror villain. Who comes out on top? Find out below.
Leprechaun (Leprechaun)
Okay so what if he is a "murderous midget?" That seems like a rude way to describe someone. There are plenty of people out there who have the hots for scaly gingers. Certainly don't count me out! I've always had a thing for Irish men (Michael Fassbender, Cillian Murphy), and Leprechaun is the most Irish of them all. [Ed. Note: HOW DID YOU FORGET Domhnall Gleeson?!] Plus, it's kind of inspiring how dedicated he is to finding his pot of gold. Driven, ambitious men are always sexy.
Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Leatherface is mysterious and silent... just how I like my men. I bet this Texas Chainsaw Massa-cutie is willing to roleplay—you know, by ripping off the faces of other hotties. Plus, a chainsaw is a pretty badass weapon of choice! Into it.
Tiffany (Bride of Chucky)
Anyone else watch Bride of Chucky and think, "Damn that girl is WAY out of Chucky's league?" Tiffany is that hot girl no one had the balls to approach in high school. Except that troll Chucky somehow ended up with her, a 10 to his 1. Also, his name is CHUCKY. And he looks like one too. Tiffany, on the other hand, is a badass bitch who wears black lipstick and leather jackets (fashion goals, obviously).
The Babadook (The Babadook)
If the Babadook was in a rock band he would totally have hella groupies. You KNOW I'm right. The Babadook is basically the Marilyn Manson of horror villains, and not gonna lie, that's kind of... hot.
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)
With his hockey mask and tattered army jacket, Jason Voorhees is, like, sporty bro meets alt bro. His clothes are ripped in that intentional, I-paid-200-dollars-for-this way, which, yes, is kind of annoying, but is also pretty fashion-forward. If only he had done something about his stringy hair, he would have been placed higher on this list.
Mary Shaw (Dead Silence)
Old women don't get enough love on sexy lists, but Mary Shaw, with her perfectly coiffed hair and chic black turtlenecks, deserves all the recognition. Before she was brutally murdered and started haunting people, she was a ventriloquist. Ventriloquism is one of those weird secret skillsets people have that make them low-key sexy. Mary is, like, the Regina George of horror: She's mean but you let her be because she's so damn fine.
Nosferatu (Nosferatu)
Way before Gary Oldman had those fire buns as Dracula, there was the bald-headed Nosferatu, a blood-sucker of our time. Nosferatu is undeniably sexy, with an ideal face shape and the fleekiest brows. Sure his teeth are kind of fucked up, but that only adds to his charm. Nosferatu is, like, the Bruce Willis of monsters. You feel me?
Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street)
I know, I know, EVERYONE knows Freddy Krueger is a sex god. He's basically a J. Crew model. That striped sweater is all sorts of fall looks goals. And that hat—not quite a fedora, because that would be tacky—is just the right amount of classy. Freddy is a goddamn style icon, let's all recognize that and move on.
Bughuul (Sinister)
When Sinister 2 came out a couple months ago, I wrote this email to my editors (which they never replied to), trying to convince them why Bughuul is a Classic Man. I'm just going to paste a screenshot of that email below:
Michael Myers (Halloween)
I've always said I like a man who can rock a jumpsuit. No one—I repeat, NO ONE—rocks a jumpsuit better than Michael Myers. *Wolf whistle*
Pinhead (Hellraiser)
Ugh, of course I'm attracted to this pasty cybergoth dude. Pinhead is a goth icon (hi, bae bait) and sure he might be hard to make out with, but that ~forbidden love~ shit is hot as hell... raiser. Congrats Pinhead, you're Complex's No. 1 Sexiest Horror Villain. Happy Halloween!
