For most of the older folk out there, social media might as well be written in Sanskrit. It's hard enough for them to understand how to use their cellphones...or even get the concept of texting. Now combine that with a never-ending conversation full of GIFs, videos, and hashtags? We're lucky the old people haven't voted to have banish Twitter for good.
When you're a celebrity, you more than likely have to use one of these services, especially if you are actively working/promoting your projects. Old celebrities, in theory, must learn these platforms or kiss their careers goodbye. And while many celebs (both old and young) find ways to make their Twitter accounts all kinds of bland, there are a number of diamonds finding their way through the wide coal sea. We recently highlighted Twitter Gawd Val Kilmer, but had to ponder: which older celebrities are really slaying Twitter on the regular?
Today, we bring you a ranking of some of the flyest older celebrities rocking Twitter. For those asking "how do you define old?," we basically kept it to lit users who can also sign up for an AARP membership (aka they have to be at least 50 years of age). Outside of that, it's a free for all. Are your favorite "over-the-hill" celebs making the cut, or have they been muted/blocked from your timeline indefinitely? [Editor's Note: Which if so, rude af!]
16. Sir Patrick Stewart
While we won't rule out if Sir Patrick Stewart has someone helping him with his Twitter, it looks like they've nailed a pocket where we can accept the man who brought Charles Xavier to life on-screen using phrases like "af."
He also tells the kinds of jokes your grandfather would tell regarding Trump.
Had the worst sleep of my life last night. But I was sleeping less than 300 yds from where Donald Trump sleeps. Could there be a connection?
— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) February 10, 2017
And like any dream grandpa would, Stewart loves him some animals. His animal-based tweets might be why he makes the list, honestly.
15. Don Cheadle
Warning: Don Cheadle’s Twitter was a lot more fun before Donald Trump took office. Now it’s a sad slush of politics, climate change, and clapbacks. His Twitter is like the digital version of an old man standing on the porch shaking his fist. Cheadle has no time for the entire administration, but he does have time to RT every Trump takedown and to refute literally everything on Fox News. When does he have time to act?
But occasionally, if you ask a stupid enough question, like what you’re supposed to do when two movies starring Uncle Donny are on TV at the same time, Cheadle will delight with gems like this:
14. Eric Roberts
You could learn a lot of random things about Eric Roberts' life via his Twitter. Like, did you know he had a radio show with his wife Eliza? I didn't, but I went into a Google rabbit hole based on the following tweet.
That's right, to celebrate the Bee Gees, Roberts tweeted a Dropbox link to a song you've probably never heard of by a group called Back.Bone—apparently Slimkid3 of Pharcyde is in it. They sampled "Stayin' Alive," and were previously on Eric and Eliza's radio show.
Like who wouldn't known that Eric is that into this song that he'd just give it away willy-nilly via Twitter? Can he even do that? Maybe that's the beauty of it; Eric Roberts is looking at Twitter like the Wild West that is can be, and is just outside of the mainstream enough to be able to get away with the lowkey pirating of music. He also drops some real "hits the blunt once" level quotes.
The past becomes the future if it bears too much resemblance to the present.
— Eric Roberts (@EricRoberts) April 15, 2017
13. Bette Midler
Bette Midler is on this list for one reason and one reason only: she's a shit-stirrer, and there's nothing better than celebrity drama playing out in real-time on the timeline. That time the 71-year-old diva got Kim K all fired up after Midler joked about the reality star's nude photos? Iconic. Really helped all of us chained to our laptops get through the work day. Bless you, Bette.
Kim Kardashian tweeted a nude selfie today. If Kim wants us to see a part of her we've never seen,
she's gonna have to swallow the camera.
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) March 7, 2016
Oh man, you guys, I mean we all know that Madonna despite all her undisputed contributions to pop music has in her older age become increasingly problematic with her grills and usage of upsetting racial slurs. But while she ages, you can’t say that she remotely looks it, Madonna could beat us all arm wrestling, but one thing that semi shows her age is her Twitter. Mostly because while she can be out there twerking with Ariana Grande and making out with Drake at Coachella, Madge’s Twitter is #peak Mom with pictures of her kids, overuse of emojis and either selfies with “current” references to TV shows or #tbt photos of her back in the day. Imagine texting with your mom—and you’ve got Madonna’s twitter.
11. William Shatner
First off, William Shatner is straight up proud dad vibes. He can get that off, though; he's damn near 90.
My children are my life. I have three kids in total; Leslie, Lisabeth & Melanie. They are my reason to get up & live each day to the fullest
— William Shatner (@WilliamShatner) May 15, 2015
He's also an avid Dancing With the Stars live-tweeter.
He's not just a jolly old guy, though; Shatner will clap at you when he feels you're on some bullshit.
And due to his OG status, he's one of the few actors left who could keep it a buck on the memory of legends like Leonard Nimoy.
10. Tom Hanks
Everybody loves Tom Hanks on Twitter, especially because he affectionately signs all of his tweets "Hanx." That's just cute! But the Oscar winner particularly deserves praise for all of the good deeds he manages to fit into 140 characters, like that time he tweeted about finding a Fordham University student's lost ID. He later returned it to her, and gave her 15 minutes of fame when media ate that sh*t up. Go Tom.
9. Martha Stewart
There are many words that could be used to describe Martha Stewart's Twitter account, but perhaps the most encompassing is "unexpected." Of course one would anticipate the homemaking queen would share a bunch of tips about cooking and decorating, but she outdoes herself with anecdotes like, "The head of the blue whale the largest animal that ever lived." Okay, Martha! Thanks for sharing!
The head of the blue whale the largest animal that ever lived
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) November 22, 2013
8. Larry King
Larry King earned himself a spot on this list because of his endlessly entertaining "two cents." The legendary reporter uses the hashtag #itsmy2cents to tell his 2.8 million Twitter followers the most arbitrary thoughts that come to his mind. Fun facts we've learned from Larry's hashtag? He loves colorful socks, has never liked ferris wheels, and he can't understand why anyone would want to play the tuba.
7. Steven Soderbergh
While he’s rightfully known as a great American auteur (and bringing Magic Mike into our lives), Soderbergh isn’t as well known for his eccentric Twitter presence. The man fondly known as “Daddy,” to our writer Kristen Yoonsoo Kim, is truly one to take note of. I mean first of all his handle is “bitchuation” with an avatar picture of him effortlessly rocking a cowboy hat. His tweets range from better than average film bro insights, bleak observations about day to day life (same), and some very niche, very dark dad jokes. And he’s only following one person, who may or may not be a cat. He’s doing Twitter right.
New studies will confirm everything is as bad as you think it is.
— Bitchuation (@Bitchuation) July 18, 2016
Why didn't Sean ask El Chapo what he thought about EX MACHINA?
— Bitchuation (@Bitchuation) January 13, 2016
6. Steve Martin
It's wild to think that Steve Martin's been entertaining the masses since the 1960s, and at the age of 71, he's still doing the damn thing...now, digitally. It's damn near frightening how "real" his tweets feel; we've never met the man, but the shit he's tweeting sounds like the humor you'd expect from the Saturday Night Live alum.
I got changing the hotel room TV channel down to 18 seconds!
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) March 17, 2017
He's also here to make sure the world knows that his homey is NOT on Twitter.
He's also got the quote tweet game down to a science.
Hopefully we'll be enjoying many more years of Martin's mania via Twitter.
5. Billy Zane
Billy Zane just makes the cut, but there's something about his insanity on Twitter (which could extend to his mania off Twitter) is something to behold.
Gov. Shut down? Gov Shut up! Breaking Bad? Baking Dad! Drop the Meth pick an apple! What do you expect America When we canonize a sociopath?
— Billy Zane (@BillyZane) October 1, 2013
It's also dope to see him not only acknowledge the legend that is Don Rickles, but do it while quote-tweeting another lit old on Twitter.
He also flaunts his screener privilege like you know you want to.
Salute to one truly eccentric gem.
4. Barbra Streisand
It’s highly recommended that you follow *actual legend* (since we throw that around all the time now) Barbra Streisand on any and all social media platforms—but especially Twitter. While she doesn’t go as far to sign her tweets, it does echo that vibe of “my grandma just learned how to use TK new device” aka it’s truly adorable. But just because Streisand often tweets about pancakes, her dog Sammie and various charities doesn’t mean that she’s not a ballsy ass bitch. Streisand is always going in HARD about how terrible our Cheeto-hued President is—and how he’s made her gain weight from said pancakes—he better watch himself.
Donald Trump is making me gain weight. I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!
— Barbra Streisand (@BarbraStreisand) March 5, 2017
Trump just accused Obama of tapping his phones. Seriously crazy times. Time for more pancakes.
— Barbra Streisand (@BarbraStreisand) March 5, 2017
Is this explosive president really in a nuclear showdown with North Korea? Or is this all just about whose "hands" are bigger?
— Barbra Streisand (@BarbraStreisand) April 16, 2017
3. Val Kilmer
Val is the man. Who would have thought the guy in those old movies back when—I used to watch Willow when I was a kid—was an abstract artist? A deep thinker? The dude who once tickled Lou Reed? Some celebs keep emulating that persona, all brand and one-dimensional. But Val Kilmer is so random and tweets whatever he feels. Who can’t connect with that? If Val misses his kids, he’ll tweet about it. If he’s dazzled by Cate Blanchett like any person would be, he’ll spare a few characters to say something about it. If Val senses a selfie opportunity, he takes it. We should all command Twitter like Kilmer.
Once again, re story speculating about my health. I have absolutely no illness other than some rehabilitation I must do for a swollen tongue
— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 31, 2017
2. Ray Liotta
Ray Liotta's forever the GAWD for his role in Goodfellas, and his Twitter reads like what you'd expect an acting gawd's Twitter to read like. There are not only a number of references to his new series Shades of Blue, but he finds ways to reference his past achievements while promoting the present.
Pure brilliance! He's also down to talk about food preferences during Shades of Blue Twitter Q&A sessions.
Ultimately, he's got a wicked, dark sense of humor, which adds to the legacy you already built up for him in your head.
Of COURSE Cher is the queen of Old People Twitter. Cher is the sole reason why Twitter is still worth checking. Stylistically, her emoji usage is impeccable: for example, she often replaces President Trump's name with a toilet. Occasionally the pop diva uses Twitter to ask hard-hitting questions like, "Is it 29?" Other times she lets us deep into her everyday life, informing followers about what she's checked off of her to-do list: "Ok just sent 100 desks." And never forget when she said what we were ALL thinking about gummy bears. All hail @Cher.
🚽IS SUCH A FKNG RACIST🔧CANT STAND IT‼️IF HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT 🇺🇸'NS,WHY DOESNT HE MAKE"1"FKNG PRODUCT HERE,IN🇺🇸⁉️
STUPID,LYING CON MAN🔧
— Cher (@cher) July 31, 2016
GUMMY BEARS fk
— Cher (@cher) July 27, 2012
Honorable Mention: Carrie Fisher
While the queen is no longer with us, you cannot deny Carrie Fisher's amazing presence on Twitter. One look at the legacy of Carrie's Twitter will highlight two things: 1) it seemed to be her primary social app, with loads of pictures being uploaded directly to it, and 2), she appeared to f*ck with emojis. Heavily. While it might take a few seconds to adjust to the beauty of her tweets in all of their glory, you have to applaud her lack of f*cks being given about any of that, as well as the dedication to continuing to tweet in that manner. Also, you can just feel the love she had for her canine companion, Gary.