Val Kilmer Is The Unexpected Twitter God You Need To Follow Right Now

Twitter may be dying, but Val Kilmer’s account is giving us life.

Val Kilmer

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Val Kilmer

In the mid-80s, Val Kilmer was that guy. Any new movie that he was in that dropped, people flocked to see. He played dick swinging heroes and villains with equal charisma. We knew him as Chris Knight in Real Genius, a teen science comedy that was simultaneously a critical darling. He starred opposite early Scientology Tom Cruise as Lt. Iceman in Top Gun and played cocky mercenary Madmartigan in the cult classic Willow

Later, he used that broody charisma to become the caped crusader himself in Batman Forever and wooed Elisabeth Shue as Simon Templar in The Saint. You could cut glass with those cheekbones! 

In the aughts, however, our man faded into obscurity, starring in mostly under the radar films. Kilmer's most memorable appearance is in the SNL digital short, “Best Friends,” where he sang as a “brilliant lunatic” with Katy Perry and Matt Damon.

Since then, Kilmer has appeared in The Spoils of Babylon and transformed into Mark Twain for a one man show about the famed author. While he has a small role in Terrence Malick’s recently released Song to Song, Kilmer’s most memorable role as of late is on Twitter. 

In the past 24 hours, Kilmer bestowed us with a gem of a Tweet—one that’s he’s since deleted—about how he created rap, which sure! “A lot of people don't know this: I use to write a lot of poetry in the 70's. Then I moved to New York. And rap was born. You're welcome.” And the accompanying photo is priceless

He joined Twitter in August 2013, and the social media platform has never been the same. Kilmer’s a must follow on Twitter (his background is a personalized Louis Vuitton pattern!), so here are some of our favorite “Kilmerisms,” which will forever change your life as you know it. (We swear we aren't exaggerating). 

He is the Selfie King. Suave, Val. Suave.

Dang that James Perse. He MAKES you buy the cashmere....

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) September 17, 2013

BTW, did you know the guy is an abstract artist? 

Collage I made a while back.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) November 13, 2013

And he doesn’t miss the opportunity to be punny.

We all need validation. I just need the idation.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 16, 2014

And guys, the man has feelings. Don’t pick on our boy Val. 

People still keep sending out stories I'm overweight. I've weighed 171 lbs. for quite a while now. Let's move along now shall we friends...

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 3, 2014

But of all his tweets, Kilmer’s short stories with other celebrities are the stuff of Twitter gold. 

For instance, Val Kilmer once tickled Lou Reed...

I once tickled Lou Reed. I regretted it for the longest while as he spoke to me few times after that dinner. But I'm glad now. He needed it.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) October 29, 2013

He was a little jealous that Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page played with his girlfriend’s hair.

I once let Jimmy Page play with my girlfriends hair, wet from the rain... c'mon. It was jimmy Page. And she liked it. Hell I woulda liked it

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) January 25, 2017

He surprised Angelina Jolie with a jet full of flowers.

Once Angelina Jolie gave me a ride home on a jet. I surprised her by filling it w/gardenias. She'd also brought a French actor. He was mad.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) January 28, 2017

And was brought to tears because of 50 Cent.

Once 50 Cent gave me a red muscle car because I loved my 69 GTO. Inside th trunk said #GUNIT and was FILLED w/amps and subwoofers. I wept.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) January 29, 2017

He fanned out on Bob Dylan.

Once Bob Dylan came over to hang. So flattered. He kept askin for Doc Holiday quotes. I said "Ok sing some #Blowininthewind 1st". Wrong ans!

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) February 3, 2017

And whispered sweet nothings into Bridget Bardot’s ear.

Once I whispered to #BridgetBardot all night... in the south of France... and I don't speak much French... and she speaks even less English.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) February 8, 2017

He was invited to a party thrown by Winona Ryder.

Once I was at the #grammyparty n #Winonaryder invited me to her party. So of course. I get there and I swear it's #u2 #ryanadams + ALL GUYS!

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) February 13, 2017

And got all weird on a plane ride to see Cate Blanchett.

Once I flew all the way to Australia just to talk to Cate Blanchett. Her husband met me first. Or, instead, I guess, to be accurate.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) March 24, 2017

You can be our huckleberry, you sweet Twitter Monarch, you.

Everyone wants to be king of America. There is only one! And it ain't Elvis Costello.

— Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) January 12, 2017


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