Come Undone: A History Of Politicians Tainted By Prostitution Scandals

Paying for sex is embarrassing. Paying for sex when you're a politician is downright scandalous and can end your political career. Such was the case for former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, who resigned from office in March 2008 after a federal investigation into his finances revealed that the holier-than-thou crusader and married father of three daughters had paid as much as $80,000 to Ashley Alexandra Dupre and other call girls working for the Emperors Club VIP escort service. The whole messy affair is covered in the documentary Client 9: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer, which releases today (without the paid assistance of a hooker). Of course, Spitzer was not the first elected official to be caught paying for sex. Revisit all the sticky situations with our history of politicians tainted by prostitution scandals...

JOHN PROFUMO (CONSERVATIVE SECRETARY OF THE STATE OF WAR, ENGLAND)

In 1963, Profumo, who was the Sectary of State for War in British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan’s administration, got himself into some real James Bond-type shit when he was outed for having an affair with call girl Christine Keeler, who was also having an affair with a Russian spy and a drug dealer. At first Profumo denied it, and even lied to the House of Commons, but eventually he was forced to resign. A couple of months later, Macmillian resigned as well, due to heath issues (sure). All this raises the question: Was that vagina really worth it? We wish we knew to say.

JERRY SPRINGER (DEMOCRATIC CITY COUNCILMAN, CINCINNATI)

In 1974, Springer wasn’t the host of a trashy TV show but a city councilman in Cincinnati, and he broke one of the biggest sins when it comes to doing illegal dumb shit: He left a paper trail by paying his hooker off with a check. Stupid. However, he does get points for openly talking about the scandal when he ran for Governor in 1980, a much better strategy than the ”Bitch set me up” defense Marion Barry would later try out.

REP. JOE WAGGONNER (DEMOCRAT, LOUISIANA)

In the spring of 1976, Waggonner, formerly the right-hand-man of another stand-up guy, Richard Nixon, got knocked for trying to get sex from a prostitute who happened to be an undercover cop. He may have been ruined in some circles, but down Louisiana way, he was actually all good—the people reelected him in the fall. Nixon definitely should have been taking some notes during their time together.

REP. ALLAN HOWE (DEMOCRAT, UTAH)

In 1976, the Utah Democrat got arrested for trying to solicit sex from an undercover police officer. After his arrest, he decided to keep his day job and proceeded to get shellacked by Republican David Daniel Marriott later on that year. Howe gets some sympathy from us, though. He was living in fucking Utah. UTAH! What other choice did he have to some?

REP. FRED RICHMOND (DEMOCRAT, NEW YORK)

In 1978, the Congressman was charged with soliciting sex from a 16-year-old boy. Richmond took some counseling, got no time, and was even reelected. In 1982, though, he was forced to resign after he pled guilty to tax evasion and holding a bit of weed. The lesson: You can fuck pretty much anybody but the government.

REP. ROBERT BAUMAN (REPUBLICAN, MARYLAND)

In 1980, Roman Catholic Bauman had a wife, four kids, a seat on the house of Representatives, and was looked at as a rising conservative star. Oh, and he also had a charge for committing oral sodomy on a 16-year-old boy during his reelection campaign. Ouch. He took the Jamie Foxx/T-Pain route and tried to blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. No one bought it. Yeah, booze doesn’t really explain gay sex with minors. It does, however, explain being a conservative.

REP. BARNEY FRANK (DEMOCRAT, MASSACHUSETTS)

In 1989, Frank, who is openly gay, confirmed a Washington Times story that he tried to turn a ho into a housewife, paying male hooker Steve Gobie to live with him and run errands. Mistake. Gobie continued turning tricks on the side, sometimes in Frank’s apartment. Frank claimed he fired him in 1987 when he realized this, and Gobie ran to the press. Weak. We guarantee you, if Frank had the Pretty Tony hand this shit never happens.

PHILIP GIORDANO (REPUBLICAN MAYOR, CONNECTICUT)

In 2001, while investigating Giordano for evidence of corruption, the FBI found photos of him with a prostitute, her 10-year-old niece, and her eight-year-old daughter. He is currently serving 37 years in prison on federal charges involving sex with minors, and we certainly hope that the good folks in gen pop elect to use this scumbag pedophile as a punching bag.

REP. RANDY “DUKE” CUNNINGHAM (REPUBLICAN, CALIFORNIA)

In 2006, a year after Cunningham pled guilty to accepting $2.4 million in bribes and was sentenced to eight years in federal prison, it came out that he had also been provided with limos and hos. It’s a luxury we’re sure inmate number 94405-198 greatly misses now.

DAVID VITTER (REPUBLICAN SENATOR, LOUISIANA)

In 2007, the family man and ultra conservative critic of Bill Clinton and his cigar had his own extra-marital problems when phone records for the D.C. Madam turned up his digits. He came right out and acknowledged his "sin," claiming he'd already made peace with his wife (pictured above) and God. Apparently Louisianans too, as they reelected him. We’re not sure what exactly he did or said to get right with God, but we would definitely like to get in on that action.

ELIOT SPITZER (DEMOCRATIC GOVERNOR, NEW YORK)

In 2008, in investigation into Spitzer's finances and possible bribe-taking exposed him as a trick, "Client 9." Even though the man has a B.A. from Princeton, a J.D. from Harvard, and helped take down the Gambino family during his stint as a Manhattan District Attorney, he was still dumb enough to try to have sex with a hooker with no condom. What a fucking fail. He can now be seen on CNN trying to make his new female co-host, columnist Kathleen Parker, as famous as his old partner, hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre. So far, it’s not really working.