The Most Cringe Worthy Live Action Video Game Commercials Ever Captured

Way to show your age, bruh.

July 27, 2013

Image via Complex Original

Video game publicity is a refined art form these days.

Slick trailers, commercials with production value on par with film, and social media campaigns that make titles impossible to miss. That hasn't always been the case.

Back in the pre-Internet days, that's a thing now, video game commercials in print and TV were how most of us consumed our advertising. As you can imagine most of this look fucking ridiculous in the harsh light of contemporary criticsism.

What I'm trying to say is that most of these live-action commercials are hysterical time capsules of low-budget shit storms. Read on for the Most Cringe Worthy Live Action Video Game Commercials Ever Captured.

Those are psychotropic hallucinogens.

Real world embarassment equivalent: Being a fan of the band Phish.

Joust is an insane premise. If you've never played the game, you control a flapping ostritch that must, um, joust the second player as you collect eggs and avoid falling in pools of lava.

It was the 80s, you could get away with a lot more back then. But this man is clearly tormented by phantoms. Why are you talking to your pet parrot? Why are you so stoked about being chased by nightmares on bird-back? Why the fuck would you eat that egg?

Cocaine's a hell of a drug.

Kids like rap music, right?

Real world embarrassment equivalent: Asking a blind person what time it is

This guy probably wanted to be a real rapper at one point. An authentic hip-hop performer that had a voice and a vision as to how his career would unfold.

He can't be faulted for trying to cash in and use a video game about an enchanted forest, and an elf, as a platform for self-promotion. He did cash that check, but I doubt this end product was what he had in mind. So much for your gritty urban image, guy no one has seen or heard from since.

Jeez, kid calm down.

Real world embarassment equivalent: Having this guy's well polished Jewfro.

Star Wars The Arcade Game dropped in 1983 for the Atari 2600 and Atari 5200. If you were to purchase this title based strictly on this guy's reaction, you'd be dissapointed with anything short of a tsunami inducing orgasm administered by every individual in your fantasy file.

Yes, it was some game.

Was the Game Genie this exciting..for anyone?

Real world embrassment equivalent: Liking Coldplay.

It's beyond obvious the director of this commercial loved three things: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Sam Raimi's Evil Dead, and cocaine. I don't think I've ever been this excited about anything in my entire life. Also, that giant hunk of plastic bent the pins on NES and SNES cartridges back in the day.

Legend of Zelda rap part deux.

Real world embarassment equivalent: That thing that happens when you drink your beer too fast and it comes rocketing out of the top in front of everyone at the bar.

This commercial is criminal for several egregious offenses:

Co-opting early hip-hop and commercializing it to the neutered state of a sanitary napkin.

Portraying early video game fans as un-fuckable shut-ins that fetishize Nintendo news letters the same way you would a vintage Hustler. The image of video game afficianados would be irreparably damaged for the next 25 years.

This kid couldn't rhyme his way out of a nursery. Get some skills.

Apparently Journey had a video game...

Real world embarassment equivalent: Actually going to see Journey.

So the premise of this game was to avoid groupies and actually seek out roadies? Worst rock star simulator ever.

Japanese Street Fighter commercial looks like a celebrity fragrance ad.

Real world embarrassment equivalent: Enjoying the Street Fighter film.

I've seen porno better choreographed than this.

Well that's the most terrifying thing. Ever.

Real world embarrassment equivalent: Falling up a flight of stairs.

Sony has a long history of creating amazingly bizzare TV spots. This trailer for the PS3 is perfect for those suffering from narcolepsy, good luck trying to sleep with this topless baby toothed goblin rooting around in your head.

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch shilling for Sega.

Real world embarrassment equivalent: Pulling on a door that clearly says push.

I know I've always fantasized about what it must have been like to be Marky Mark when he and his Funky Bunch ruled the 90s. The women, the money, the perfectly sculpted deltoids. Of course I'd want to play a games as Sir Marky.

Wait...I'm a fucking video editor? That's the game? Me in a cramped editing suite figuring out which frame best highlights Mark Wahlberg's acid-washed jeans? Fuck off.

Paul Rudd in this Super Nintendo ad.

Real world embarassment equivalent: Someone overhears you shart.

Relax Paul Rudd. I know they made you dress like the most milquetoast cast member of The Matrix, but the Super Nintendo wasn't that great. Maybe it's the casually opened trench coat, or your all American good looks, that's doing it for us, either way, we'd come running to an abandoned drive-thru to play F-Zero with you anytime.