What Your Favorite Video Game Console Says About You

As the owner of a 30-plus year-old video game it's likely that you're someone's grandmother or grandfather, or you truly enjoy now-vintage items. (And you probably dress like a grandmother or grandfather, too.) You scoff at contemporary video game graphics, and miss the days when a controller was "only a joystick and a single red button." People tolerate you because you're probably really easy to beat in a game of Halo (but you hold the top five spots on your own copy of Pac-Man, so yeah), and because you're probably a grandmother or grandfather.

You like a good deal. Most of the movies you own have probably been acquired through a buy one get 10 deal from a bootlegger that lives on your street, and most of your furniture is courtesy of the "Free" tab on Craigslist. You enjoy variety and love to slowly pull out your collection of Sega Genesis, SNES and NES games whenever your friends are around. Sure, they think you're weird (and wonder why you never checked to see if rats were living in that couch you picked up) but they give you the benefit of the doubt because you own Mortal Kombat. You are also one of a few people that actually believes Shaq Fu revolutionized gaming, too.

You're the life of the party and most people have something nice to say about you. You probably helped your circle of friends find all 120 Power Stars in Super Mario 64, and won multiple Super Smash Bros. competitions. You're a peaceful and non-confrontational person, preferring for people to settle their differences in a game of Super Mario Kart. You have your moments, however. Diehard PlayStation fans can easily get under your skin, so much so that you once ruined a good friendship by purposely scratching a friend's copy of Resident Evil 2 to prove a point: you can't blow on a CD to make it work like new again. Aside from that you're an awesome human being.

You're underrated and you know it but you're waiting for the moment when people finally realize your worth. You're an innovator and you stick out, but either time is never on your side or that one person who is somewhat similar to you but is a few points higher on the "Cool" scale happens to be everywhere you are at. People probably describe you as "ahead of your time" which is essentially a momentary insult (meaning it becomes a compliment when, you know, "your time" has finally been reached), but considering you knew that no memory card would ever come close to the Dreamcast's VMU and that the system's SegaNet was the godfather to future online gaming, you will have the last laugh. Until your day comes, replaying Sonic Adventure, Power Stone and Shenmue on the daily will have to do.

People call you mysterious (which is a nice way of saying you're weird) and it's likely you live in your parent's basement or a college dorm with the intent of returning to your parent's basement. You considered writing your college thesis in relation to World Of Warcraft, and recommended the professor to all of your WoW friends when he/she ambivaently approved your topic. Since you primarily play MMORPGs you're strategic and think quick on your feet (although that quick thinking doesn't necessarily translate to real-life situations), and enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishing something through teamwork. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you are an exception to the rule but if not, at least you have your computer already in front of you for when you need a "personal break." And, most importantly, your friends worry about you...a lot.

You're an on the go type of person that likes to make sure their gadgets define them, even if those gadgets are overpriced and unnecessary. You blow money fast even though you shouldn't be, and you primarily surround yourself with people that don't know you well so you can fool them into thinking you're a self-made individual. (But your close friends know that you're a barista at Starbucks.) Most people ask you why you even own a PlayStation Vita when your iPhone practically has the same features. Your response? "Where else can I play Metal Gear Solid HD Collection when I'm headed to the office (read: Starbucks)?" You should've taken your friend's advice and bought the PS3 instead of the Vita, and now you have to live with that decision for the rest of your life.

You're also an on the go person but you're not annoying about it. Everyone understands that you had to get a copy of Pokemon X/Y, and feel that the price for a mobile 3D gaming experience is worth it. You're upbeat and quirky and are accurately described as an "adult kid," meaning you're responsible and financially stable but still like to live a little carelessly every once and awhile (and wear eccentric clothing). Children probably love you and they seek your advice on how to defeat Dry Bowser in New Super Mario Bros. 2. You're essentially the main character from Grandma's Boy minus the living with your grandmother part. (You should probably also clean your bong.)

You probably have a family but if that's not the case then, similar to your Nintendo 64 counterpart, you're the life of the party while simultaneously being health conscious. (You're actually lazy and part of the reason you bought your Wii U is so you could avoid being put through hell by a personal trainer. Keep telling yourself that a dance a day on Just Dance 2014 will take a pound away.) Some people don't consider your Wii U an "eighth generation console" but those same people were the ones that doubted the Wii's impact back in 2006. "No other system has a GamePad where you can still play a game even when the TV screen is off," you say, and your friends can't really argue with the system's ability to play NES, SNES, N64 and Game Boy Advance games through the Virtual Console service. In a way you're like your best friend that loves their Dreamcast: misunderstood and ahead of the curve, with people realizing your greatness well after the fact. Oh well, at least no one can touch you on Mario Kart 8.

Ever since the first Halo debuted on the Xbox you've been an Xbox or die fan for life. It's likely that you have a Master chief tattoo on your shoulder (which you were originally going to put on your entire back but thought against it), and refer to yourself as "SupaDupaKilla69" on Xbox Live. These all sound unflattering but they're really not. You're a nice person that hosts bi-weekly tournaments ranging from Call Of Duty to Marvel vs. Capcom 3, but love to have your personal time enjoying the visual thrill rides of Bioshock Infinite, The Last Of Us and Grand Theft Auto V. You're a casual person; if you could go everywhere in basketball shorts and a white t-shirt you would, but you dress up when it's really necessary. You also love the fact that you can access Netflix from your Xbox 360, which is one of the main reasons you bought it. You also love, love, love talking crap on Xbox Live--even if you're losing miserably.

You and the guy/girl that loves their Xbox 360 are basically the same person, but you loathe being compared to Xbox 360 owners because, in your own words, "The PS3 is in a class of its own." Your only justification for this is the fact that it plays Blu-ray discs (which you don't own one of anyways). Your allegiance to PlayStation systems is due to the fact that Metal Gear Solid changed your life (your friends are tired of you recreating the dialogue sequence between Psycho Mantis and Solid Snake pre-boss battle), and the fact that Grand Theft Auto III, the first ever 3D GTA game, debuted on the PS2 before any other system. It's possible that you take console wars a little too seriously and, like a proud N64 owner, have ruined friendships over your super pro-PlayStation stance. It's likely that you're fashionably savvy and purchase all of your houseware from Ikea (and have made an effort to learn how to pronounce every product there, too), but underneath all of that snob is a person that just wants attention. Once people get to know you they realize that you're actually pretty cool. Lastly, you love the fact that your system is essentially the only video game console that can be described as "sexy."