Image via Complex Original
JustifiedElmore LeonardTimothy Olyphantthe 10 best television yokels of all time.
Boyd Crowder
10. Boyd Crowder, Justified
A White Supremacist pyromaniac bank robber turned Born Again ex-con with
his own "church," all that Boyd needs to make himself more of a good
ol' boy is a dysfunctional relationship with a father who's in the meth manufacturing business. Oh wait...
Cletus Delroy Spuckler
9. Cletus Delroy Spuckler, The Simpsons
You can't have a list of country yokels with Cletus from The Simpsons. The dude
is married to a girl named Brandine, who may or may not be his sister (may). He
eats road kill, wears a wifebeater, and talks like a slow-footed dullard. He
also whittles. Cletus is a Confederate flag away from being an extra on Dukes
of Hazard. Speaking of which...
Cooter Davenport
8. Cooter Davenport, The Dukes of Hazard
When he wasn't fixing the
General Lee at his garage (pronounced "GAR-age" below the Mason-Dixon
Line), Cooter was busy saying things like this over the CB:
""Breaker, Breaker, I might be crazy but I ain't dumb, Craaaazy
Cooter comin' atcha." Complete with a greasy hat and sleeveless button
down, Cooter could easily be one of Larry the Cable Guy's long lost cousins. Or
brothers.
Larry the Cable Guy
7. Larry the Cable Guy, Blue
Collar Comedy
Think of Larry the Cable Guy as Cooter with jokes. Though don't think Larry
(his real name is a decidedly un-Southern Daniel Lawrence Whitney) is all talk.
The guy grew up on a pig farm in Nebraska! This is where a bigger hack would
make a "Git-r-done!" reference, but you expect better from us.
Kenneth Parcell
6. Kenneth Parcell, 30 Rock
It doesn't get more backwoods than Kenneth Parcell. The poor 30 Rock page—as
in poor; Jack Donaghy calls him an "inner-city Latina" economically
speaking—not only minored in Bible sexuality, but ate his father-pig. This
happened on television. Like Kenneth, we were forever scarred.
Jed Clampett
5. Jed Clampett, The Beverly
Hillbillies
"Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed." If you've got a
honky-tonk theme song named for you, you might be a redneck. Jed Clampett was
the ultimate backwoods rags-to-riches story, mining for black gold and taking
his clan of denim wearers out West to Beverly Hills. Consider him the patriarch
of this list.
Foghorn Leghorn
4. Foghorn Leghorn, Looney
Tunes
Only because Foghorn Leghorn is a cartoon. With his booming Southern bluster—and silly catchphrases like, "That's a joke, I say, that's a joke,
son"—Leghorn was doing Southern fried comedy before most of the people
on this list were even born. Not Jed Clamplett though. That guy was as old as
dirt.
Mose Schrute
3. Mose Schrute, The Office
Not your typical backwoods hillbilly, Mose is Dwight Schrute's Amish beet-loving cousin. Which means he hates things like phones (when Mose and the Schrute Farm went wireless, he hid all the wires). Fun fact: Mose was played by
writer Michael Schur, who left The Office to go executive producer Parks and Recreation.
Hank Hill
2. Hank Hill, King of the Hill
Give Hank a can of beer, a white T-shirt, a lawn chair, and some deep
conversation about propane tanks and the guy will be happy forever. He's a
Texan with a backwoods heart—never mind that he was born in New York City.
(Cue the Pace salsa guys: NEW YORK CITY?!)
Woody Boyd
1. Woody Boyd, Cheers
On this list, Woody is king. The Indiana native was the smartest person in
his school—which made him the dumbest person in a ratty Boston bar, where
Woody's naivete was routinely mocked. How is this for Woody's hillbilly bona
fides: As revealed in the finale, his birth name was Huckleberry. Yeah.
