The word "ratchet" might be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream.
This week's roundup includes airborne baby carriages, a wanted man in a doughnut eating competition , and drunken teachers. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Meter, a base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing.
Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to cityguidetips@complex.com.
And for your viewing pleasure, here's the latest episode of Ratchet News Network with The Kid Mero:
1. RNN: Ratchet News Network
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3. Drunk Prostitute Arrested for Crashing Vehicle into Florida Retirement Community
4. Man Arrested for Throwing Car Seat (With Child Inside) at His Girlfriend
5. Mom Arrested for Helping Son Film #FireChallenge Video
6. Wanted Man Arrested After Winning Police-Backed Doughnut-Eating Competition
7. A Reminder Never to Publicly Operate a Leaf Blower While Naked
8. Intolerant Woman Contacts Police After Learning Son Was Watching Adult Entertainment in Living Room
9. Four Costumed Characters Arrested During 30-Minute Period in Times Square
Date: 8/9/2014
Location: New York, N.Y.
Crime: Disorderly conduct
Ratchet Meter: 7
The NYPD's crackdown on masked Times Square performers continues, as an Elmo, a Spider-Man, and two Iron Men were arrested during a 30-minute span.
According to the New York Post, the four men were arrested on Saturday Aug. 9 while harassing tourists for tops. This came mere hours after police distributed pamphlets to tourists explaining that they can tip the costumed performers after posing for pictures with them at their discretion:
The four rogue characters were charged with disorderly conduct late Saturday, with “Spider-Man” William Suarez, 32, also charged with aggressive panhandling for allegedly laying his hands on a potential mark.
Suarez, “Iron Man” Javier Hernandez, 37, and “Elmo” Jose Maria, 25, were all locked up pending arraignment, while the other “Iron Man,” Khalid Lahmadi, 40, was released with a summons.
Recent incidents involving the Times Square performer faction have led to clamoring for their activity to be regulated. Lucia Gomez, head of immigrant-rights organization La Fuente, told the Post that a number of the performers are Hispanic immigrants who have reached out to La Fuente for assistance in coping with any regulatory provisions levied against them.
This latest sweep of arrests reinforces the fact that NYPD is serious about tourists enjoying Times Square free of harassment.—Julian Kimble
10. Showing Up to Work Drunk, Without Pants Leaves the Wrong Type of Impression
11. Florida Man Beaten Beyond Recognition for Allegedly Molesting Child Enters Not Guilty Plea
12. New Curfew Triggers Rikers Island Riots
Date: 8/4/2014
Location: Bronx, N.Y.
Crime: N/A
Ratchet Meter: 7
A new rule forcing Rikers Island inmates to be in bed two hours earlier was met with opposition. In turn, that opposition was met with regulatory measures.
The new rule was implemented on Aug. 4, moving lights out up to 9 p.m. from 11 p.m. This was reportedly done to curb violence at the facility, though prisoners reportedly threatened to riot if forced to miss those two hours of late-night television. On Monday night, tensions finally boiled over:
On Monday Aug.11, when two housing units at Rikers' George R. Vierno Center disobeyed the new curfew, the Department of Justice said they were subdued using an unnamed chemical. Although no one was seriously injured, 68 inmates were treated for exposure to the spray.
The earlier bed time remains in place. Inmates are simply going to have to deal with it.—Julian Kimble
