Ranking Game of Thrones Characters by How Fun They Would Be to Get Drunk With

Much has become clear in the last three seasons of Game of Thrones. Even a casual, non-book-reading viewer probably has a pretty good idea which Westerosi warrior they want by their side in battle. You probably also know who you would want advocating for your cause in King's Landing. Hell, you've even thought about which noblewoman you would take for a roll in the stables given the opportunity. One issue that is still up for debate is which GOT character would be the most fun to get drunk with. An absurd amount of fan fiction has been consumed in order to come up with a definitive power ranking of the best wino with whom to wait for winter. Crack open that Dornish and countdown to find out which Game of Thrones character would make the ultimate drinking buddy.

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Great drinking buddy because: People who keep to themselves often have the best stories to tell. Missandei is not only easy on the eyes, but she speaks nineteen languages without having gone to college. Girl was a slave; she is a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks.

Potential problems: She'll make you feel insecure about your useless sociology degree. Also, as a former slave, she isn't used to speaking unless spoken to, so you may have to initiate some conversation.

Great drinking buddy because: Drinking with Little Finger would be a blast, until the end of the night. Little Finger is the kind of guy who would order bottle service for the table and conveniently disappear when the bill arrived. But, as this charmer and whoremonger has a way with the ladies, until the time comes to settle the check, you're sure to enjoy yourself.

Potential problems: He's always going to know if you're talking about him behind his back.

Great drinking buddy because: It can be pretty great drinking with a glass-half-empty kind of guy from time to time. The Hound doesn't buy into all that honor and chivalry crap and tells it like it is. If you're in the mood to commiserate over the cruelty of the World, The Hound might be the man to place your barstool next to. Just know the only "fun" you're going to have is the inevitable bar fight.

Potential problems: He really likes killing people.

Great drinking buddy because: You don't have to speak Dothraki to have a good time with Khal Drogo. Even if you can't speak the same language, you could probably have a dope night out. There are worse ways to spend an evening than eating horse hearts and ransacking villages.

Potential problems: His lady kind of keeps him on a tight leash lately.

Great drinking buddy because: Full of advice, stories, and riddles, Varys would be a pretty entertaining boozing companion. He also started from the bottom as a beggar in the streets, so he will likely spare you any fake-ass bullshit. Sure, he's a little weird, but he's pretty damn interesting.

Potential problems: He might try to show you his Magician in a Box.

Great drinking buddy because: She gives great advice. The thoughtful, sensible Stark matriarch is always willing to listen and has a solution.

Potential problems: She keeps her mouth shut when you ignore her advice, even if the consequences could be a bit dire. Not a great +1 for weddings.

Great drinking buddy because: We all have a female friend who we feel is "just one of the guys." She knows more about football than you do. She can drink you under the table. She perpetually stores a flask of whiskey in her purse or back pocket. That's all well and good, but could she beat you in hand to hand combat?

Potential problems: Would kick your ass.

Great drinking buddy because: Bronn is the classic tough guy drunk looking to pick a fight to compensate for his feelings of inferiority. Though that guy is super annoying, it's always good to have him on your side. Besides, he's pretty funny too, which helps make up for his temper and relentless mercenary ways.

Potential problems: If someone else buys him a drink, he might go hang out with them instead.

Great drinking buddy because: It's well established across Tumblr that Jon Snow knows nothing, so don't expect sage advice or world weary wit. Snow seems like a good guy though and he's up for anything. If you're trying to watch the game or pick up girls North of the Wall, he might be your ideal wingman.

Potential problems: On second thought, his rugged good looks make him maybe not the best wingman. Also, don't mention the whole "bastard" thing.

Great drinking buddy because: Yes, Ros had legendary beauty, but prostitutes rarely have the charming, witty "bedside manner" she possessed. You could have a great time with her even if you didn't take her up on her services. Just ask Jon Snow ... or Joffrey (Too soon.)

Potential problems: Hang out with her too late and you might get arrested ... or crossbowed.

Great drinking buddy because: "I'm not trying to honor you, I'm trying to get you to run my kingdom while I eat, drink, and whore my way into an early grave." That quote pretty much says it all. Robert is the Westerosi equivalent of your boy from back home who gets you in trouble every time you're in town. For two or three nights, it is amazing, but then you're like, "Dude, shouldn't you be running your kingdom."

Potential problems: Being peer-pressured into keg stands and shots. Enabling someone who clearly has a problem. Death by boar.

Great drinking buddy because: Loyal friends are great in battle and at the bar. You get the sense that Nedd was the kind of guy who help you out if you puked and might even pay for your cab home.

Potential Problems: He's just so damn honorable, he might guilt you out of having a really good time.

Great drinking buddy because: Not to be insensitive, but everybody likes getting wasted with a goofy fat guy. Just examine any party scene in any teen movie or TV show to see some prime examples. Samwell's clumsiness and good nature would make him a pretty great drinking buddy.

Potential problems: As the night goes on, he'd start complaining about how he never gets laid.

Great drinking buddy because: When you go back home for your high school reunion, it's amazing how nice some of the douchiest jocks have become. Time has a way of humbling us and molding us into better, more interesting men. Sometimes you have to lose a hand to gain some perspective.

Potential problems: Might need help drinking beer and eating nachos at the same time.

Great drinking buddy because: Can't you just imagine chilling in the garden, sitting back, downing martinis, and exchanging barbs with Olenna? It'd be like drinking with Lucille Bluth without the unnecessary cruelty.

Potential problems: She will make you look stupid. Just accept it.

Great drinking buddy because: Jorah is another loyal drinking companion. Dude wouldn't just pick up your tab: he might take a bullet for you. He has a bit of a dark past, but who hasn't dabbled in the slave trade in their younger days? The important thing is that he has learned from his mistakes to become pretty dope.

Potential problems: He won't stop going on and on about Daenrys. It's never going to happen bro, get over it.

Great drinking buddy because: Her no-bullshit attitude will motivate you to spend less time on a barstool and more time kicking life's ass. Student loans feel like less of a problem next to someone who is trying to come back from exile to reclaim the Iron Throne.

Potential problems: The Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains will make your accomplishments look pretty minor.

Great drinking buddy because: Let's be honest. Sometimes you just want a tavern companion to listen to your problems, not bother you with issues of their own. If that's where you're at, then Hodor is your man.

Potential problems: Not much of a conversationalist.

Great drinking buddy because: We all need a friend who is going to call you on your shit and tell it like it is. The Onion Knight will lay some truth on you even if he knows it won't be well-received. Also, dude used to smuggle, so he can always get you in the club, no matter how long the line. And damn it, he's just a good dude, and sometimes that's all that matters.

Potential problems: Sometimes you're not ready for real talk. For example, If you know the girl you're seeing is bad for you, and happens to be a pagan fire priestess, then you probably don't want to hear it from someone else.

Great drinking buddy because: For so many reasons, Tyrion is the ideal Game of Thrones drinking buddy. He is funny, unafraid to aim his sharp wit at anyone who crosses him. He is compassionate, and will listen to your problems; the guy loves broken things, so if you're having a hard time, he'll lend an ear. The man has lived a life and has many stories to tell. And, perhaps most importantly, he will get you laid.

Potential problems: It's not a question of why you would want to drink with Tyrion; it's a question of why the Hell he would want to drink with you.