10 Things We Learned About Dating from Game of Thrones

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Taught By: Theon and Ros

Don't take her for granted. Tell her how you feel. If you keep your feelings bottled up inside because you want to feel like more of a man, then you might just wake up one day to find out she hopped the next turnip cart out of town.

You're a nobleman and she's a lady of the night, we get it. So what? If you want to be with her, you have to treat her right. Now that Ros is ruling her own roost in King's Landing and he's tied up in some basement somewhere, we'd wager that your boy Theon wishes he had spoken with a little more courtesy. Take notes, gentleman.

Taught By: Robb and Talisa

If momma isn't happy, nobody's happy, or so the saying goes. Robb Stark falls for the lovely Talisa Westerling, and who wouldn't: she's fine, she's caring, and her dress falls off of her body at the slightest touch. The problem is that Robb already made a politically-driven promise to marry someone else.

 It's one thing to break a pact, but at least consult Moms first. The first meaningful conversation between Talisa and Cat Stark happens while Cat is making a dream catcher of death for her kid. That's no way to meet the 'rents. A Westeros equivalent of Applebee's would have been a far more appropriate locale than some glade off of the King's Path. Blooming onions or unlimited breadsticks can go a long way towards easing familial tension.

Taught By: Khal Drogo and Daenerys Targaryen

Once you move out of your hometown, you are going to meet people with traditions that differ from your own. You are going to meet girls that celebrate different holidays than you do. You are going to meet some red state ladies who have a different political outlook. You might even meet someone down with sacrificing horses and bronzing people's heads while they're still alive. Whatever a woman's cultural deal may be, try to see where she's coming from.

Who knows? You might find that bronzing people's heads becomes an enjoyable weekend pastime.

Taught By: Tyrion and Shae

If someone gifts you with some ice, be careful, they might be branding you for torture while saving the one they really love. Okay, so it might not be as melodramatic as all that, but when you get the gift of jewelry, you know that odds are the other party screwed something up, which prompted them to make that hefty purchase. Just like Shae, we'll take a pledge of undying loyalty and a pet name over some lion pendant any day of the week.

Taught By: Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister

Talk shit to your girl at your own peril. You have no idea what extreme exercise (think a deadly combination of Tae Bo and Pilates) she's been delving into. Even if your girl doesn't stand six-foot three and isn't suited up with more armor than Robo-Cop, you should still be cautious about speaking out of line. Don't end up like Jaime Lannister and not only suffer the indignities of being bested by your girl, but also having to ride with her while she rubs it in your face. 

Taught By: Joffrey and Margaery

Oaths were taken. Families were to be united. Thrones were to be gamed. Sansa and Joffrey were a done deal, especially since Joffrey took getting to know the in-laws to a whole new level. The crown was all but on Sansa's shattered little psyche. Next thing you know, your girl Margaery waltzes into court wearing a low-cut number and it's game over. There is no such thing as a sure thing in this world, and as a modern day Queen of Dragons once put it, "If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it."

Taught By: Melisandre and Stannis

It's one thing to abandon your advisers and your deities in favor of worshipping the Fire God. We get it. Fire is powerful. It burns people. Without it, there would be no s'mores. But, how can you expect to make a thoughtful choice between deities when you are banging the Fire God's Priestess? Talk about a conflict of interest. Workplace romances rarely work out. While you may not end up sacrificing scores of your people on a pyre, you'll likely make decisions that are based more on downstairs desires than upstairs thinking.

That being said, if you get the chance to tap that ass on top of a novelty size Risk board, sacrificing your career might be worth it.

Taught By: Theon and Yara (a.k.a. Asha)

Theon, Theon, Theon. You aren't exactly a lady killer are you? How does Theon follow up being spurned by a prostitute? He tries to put the moves on his sister while on horseback. There are some dudes in Westeros who are down with that sort of thing (which, for the record, makes us very uncomfortable), but at least they put some dastardly forethought into things. Theon is just the kind of guy who tries to let his fingers do the talking before he does any of the leg work. Being Iron Born might help with a lot of things in life, but it certainly doesn't make you a ladyslayer.

Taught By: Robert and Cersei

Okay, so given the Lannister's penchant for power and incest, maybe there is nothing that Robert could have done to save this relationship. But, you can't help but wonder if a little less wine-swilling and boar-hunting and a little more marriage counseling would have made things turn out differently for him and Cersei. Even if your relationship isn't a marriage of convenience (or a marriage at all), ignoring your girl while swilling Buds and watching ESPN doesn't look very different from Robert's behavior on the Iron Throne. Do better.

Taught By: Joffrey and Sansa

When Sansa first meets Joffrey, thoughts of a fairy tale ending dance in her head. That makes the fall all the harder when she finds out the brat-king's true colors. In life, as in epic fantasy, if things seem too good to be true, they often are. Even in a world of dragons and wizards, no one else in King's Landing would believe that a Lannister is going to be up front about anything, except for sweet, deluded Sansa. Don't be like Sansa—pull the wool from your eyes, and see your lover for who they really are.