Alec Baldwin had a day off on Saturday, after Saturday Night Live eschewed its regular Trump-based cold open in favor of some other very famous halfway crooks. Saturday night’s episode, which was hosted by Emma Stone, featured a group of very famous criminals, in what was a spot-on spoof of MSNBC’s Lockup.
SNL took direct aim at the college admissions scandal, by featuring Kate McKinnon as the embattled actress, Lori Loughlin. The sketch opened with Loughlin imprisoned alongside a trio of inmates, played by Kyle Mooney, Kenan Thompson and Chris Redd.
McKinnon had a ton of shine during the sketch, as she bragged about her misdeeds. “Oh yeah, you think that’s insane? I paid 500 grand to get my daughter into USC,” she said. “You paid 500 grand for USC?” her cellmate replied. When her cellmates suggested that she wouldn’t last long in the Greybar Hotel, Aunt Becky set them straight.
“You think prison is hard? I’ve done 68 Hallmark movies,” she said. “I’ve seen hell, man. And in half those Hallmark movies I married Santa’s son, so I’ve lost all sense of reality." The sketch was also appropriately peppered with some requisite Full House catchphrases, as McKinnon dropped classics like “how rude?” and “cut it out.”
Things really kicked into high gear when none other than Pete Davidson showed up as Michael Avenatti and a heavily bearded Michael Keaton joined him as Julian Assange. Davidson’s Avenatti expressed his presidential aspirations, despite his recent legal troubles. “Avenatti/Baldwin, 2020,” he said.
Not to be outdone, Keaton’s Assange eventually took the lead. “That’s right it’s me. I’m the architect of anarchy; I’m the king of chaos; I’m the scourge of the cleaning staff at the Ecuadorian Embassy,” he said.
After he was challenged by a fellow prisoner, Assange was quick to put the inmate in his place. “I hope you’re proud of every single photo in your iCloud because boom, all your ding-dong pics just went on the internet.”