United Airlines is having a revelatory week. After video surfaced on social media this weekend showing a paying customer being forcibly removed from an overbooked United flight, the company released a bizarre statement apologizing for having to "re-accommodate" the customer before getting roundly trashed by pretty much everyone. On Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel joined the United trashing by sharing his thoughts on the incident and gifting the company with a new ad campaign.
"I'm glad none of you were yanked off your plane," Kimmel told members of his audience who had traveled via plane to get to Los Angeles. For some reason, Kimmel noted, airlines can't seem to figure out the very simple process of only booking seats that are actually available. "The reason they were overbooked is because they were trying to get four United Airlines employees onboard," Kimmel said. "They said the employees had to get to Louisville, so they kicked customers who paid for the ticket off the plane to make room for them."
Kimmel added that United CEO Oscar Munoz's tweeted statement is arguably the worst part of the controversy, as the "re-accommodate" explanation is just laughable. "Just like we re-accommodated El Chapo out of Mexico," Kimmel joked. "That is such sanitized, say nothing, take no responsibility, corporate BS speak. I don't know how the guy who sent that tweet didn't vomit when he typed it out."
After imagining how a similar "re-accommodation" incident might go inside an Applebee's, Kimmel introduced his new United ad campaign proposal. "United didn't even admit they did anything wrong," he said. "In fact, if anything, they seem to be doubling down on this." In Kimmel's ad, a United employee shows off brass knuckles and presents a pair of new slogans, including the apt and memorable "United Airlines. Fuck you!"