So far this election, Stephen Colbert has done an incredible job keeping us entertained. He's talked to Pusha T about voting rights. He's pondered how to fix the Supreme Court. He's given President Obama a job interview. And he's spent a lot of time keeping Donald Trump in check. And that's all before his proposed election night extravaganza. Considering how busy Colbert has been lately, it's nice to see him be able to relax, as he did last night—or tried to, at least.
Last night on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the show opened with a clip of CNN showing poll results: Hillary Clinton was at 46 percent; Donald Trump at 42 percent; then Gary Johnson and Jill Stein trailing at 4 percent and 3 percent, respectively. But Colbert was having enough of it, and turned off the television. "I've gotta find some escape from this election, just a moment of peace!" he says. Then it hits him: "I know, I'll relax by finishing by ship in a bottle!"
He gets his little poker stick and reaches into the bottle with it. "Just straight the mast and pull the rigging over the spar..." But then we see Colbert's poker stick going into the bottle—and poke a mini sea captain on the ship. The captain screams in pain, "Argh! You son of a bitch, Colbert!" He adds while shaking his fist, "You stabbed me!"
The captain pledges, "Oh, as sure as the sea is wet, I'll have me revenge!"
This is when Colbert's hobby backfires on him. The captain says, "I have to take me mind off this puncture wound." He wonders for a second and then says, "Oh, I know! I'll work on me desk in a bottle!"
Then, when the captain puts his little poker stick in his "desk in a bottle," we see Colbert stabbed with a big spear-like stick.
Then, the show kicks off.
So if you find yourself freaking out about the election, you don't have to be alone. Colbert is struggling through this election with us too.