Stephen Colbert had the day off Monday, presumably due to a holiday dedicated to some jackass named Chris. But that didn't mean our guy Colbert was going to just let the hellacious debate weekend slip by without some timely commentary. In a six-minute monologue recorded from the comfort of his home Monday night, Colbert gave his thoughts on the latest Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton developments while also sneaking in a quick Ken Bone mention.
"Like with all sequels, it left you wondering 'Why do they keep making these?'" Colbert said of the second presidential debate, joined by "an adorable undecided kitty" as his co-host. According to Colbert, the weekend was supremely upsetting for a variety of Trump-related reasons. "It was a really disturbing weekend, especially for parents who had to sit down and explain to their kids who Billy Bush was," Colbert said.
As for Trump's egregious "locker room talk" defense of his leaked "grab them by the pussy" comments, Colbert was just as perplexed as the rest of us. "What gym does Donald Trump belong to?" Colbert asked. "In my locker room, we're just trying to avoid eye contact and gently encouraging old man Wallace to put on a towel."
Colbert also noted the bizarreness of Trump admitting he hadn't recently spoken to Mike Pence, the lurking terror of his threat to jail Clinton if he claims victory in November, and the "hero" who "rose from the ashes," a.k.a. the apparently beloved Ken Bone. To celebrate the establishment of Bone Town, Colbert rocked a quick acoustic number in his honor.
The best moment, however, was Colbert's confusion at the sight of so many flies landing on Clinton. "People said that Hillary Clinton should have been tougher on Donald Trump, that she was too sweet," Colbert said. "And the proof is that flies kept landing on her. That was weird to see flies landing on her when she was standing so close to a giant pile of bullshit."