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Bernie Sanders has been winning as a politician, but he might have a career in throwing shade if this presidential thing doesn’t work out. The Vermont senator appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers to roast the super rich with his very own segment called "Ya Bernt."
First up on the chopping block? Why, the 1% of course. "What do you need all that money for? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to compensate for something," he joked. "How is it plausible that some of you are paying a lower tax rate than your secretaries? That makes less sense than the plot of Batman v Superman." Fun fact: Every time someone takes a shot at B v S, a Marvel flick earns its wings.
Sanders also took the time to go after the big bank conglomerates. He continued: "My advice to you is the same advice I’d give to a couple contemplating an open relationship: It’s time to break up. But don’t feel bad. All the best bands break up eventually—the Beatles, Destiny’s Child. Personally, I can’t wait for the Behind the Music on Goldman Sachs."
The Democratic hopeful then turned his attention to the Late Night host himself, Seth Meyers, for going after his hair. Sanders responded by calling him Tintin before delivering a verbal smack down that probably would have landed him on Wilmer Valderrama’s short-lived Dirty Dozens venture, Yo Mama. "You’re carrying more product than an Amazon warehouse," he fired back. "And why does it come to a point like that? It looks like a tiny surfer is about to Hang 10 on your forehead."
My condolences to those who were Bernt.