Director: Nick Castle
Stars: Ellen DeGeneres, Bill Pullman, Joan Cusack, Dean Stockwell, John Livingston, Robert Goulet
Lame Love Song: "I Want to Know What Love Is," Mick Jones
Love Conquers: A psychopath

Not even a film starring Dane Cook and Ashton Kutcher as brothers who both work as architects and are both in love with Katherine Heigl could kill a romcom as fast as Bill Pullman's turn as a stalking, kidnapping, jilted lover does here. Even the man who delivered the immortal presidential speech in Independence Day and the dancing talk show host herself couldn't save this awful film.