9. Motorized Ice Cream Cone

For days when you're feeling a little too beat (or self-important) to deal with the hassle that goes into polishing off an ice cream cone (uh...moving your mouth?), novelty gift company Perpetual Kid has a solution for you. For $9.99, these rotating Motorized Ice Cream Cone contraptions will eliminate all the grunt work. Merely turn it on and stick out your tongue. [Insert "That's What She Said" joke here.]