Britney Spears is opening up about her estrangement from her two sons.

Earlier this month, Jayden Federline, the 15-year-old son of Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline, revealed in a British ITV documentary that him and his brother have distanced themselves from Britney.

After addressing Jayden’s comments in an Instagram post last week, Spears took to social media on Saturday to shed more light on how she feels about the situation. 

“I used to have my kids, at one point, more than Kevin,” she explained in a voice note. “People don’t remember that part because they always focus on the negative, but when they were 6 to 9 years old, I had them 70% of the time. Since they’ve been gone, I’ve honestly felt like a huge part of me has died. Like literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy, they were my everything … that was what I lived for. And then all of a sudden, they were gone, and I was like, ‘Oh my God, did my heart just stop beating?’ Honestly, I don’t understand how it’s just so easy for them just to cut me off like that. I don’t understand it.”

In another audio message, Spears reminded her sons that her love for them has not wained.

“Jayden and Preston, I adore you,” she shared. “I was told you guys have blocked me. I hope you’re using your punching bag I gave you. You guys are unbelievable in the gym. Happy early birthday. You guys can do pull ups. Wow. You’re skilled in everything you do. I’m so blessed to even call you mine, and I just want you to know I apologize, my ignorance in saying ‘so’ to you guys — that was meant for my father.”

Listen to Britney’s full message below.