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Despite her absolutely explosive year, Billie Eilish admitted to still struggling with her own self-confidence.
On Friday’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, Eilish caught up with the former child star, who seemed particularly well-equipped to understand Eilish’s current plight.
“You know I‘ve always been very, very strong-willed and honest, which I think is like a blessing and a curse,” Billie told Barrymore. “The funny thing is that the older I’ve gotten, the less confident I‘ve gotten and it kind of made me like—because I re-watched the doc a few weeks ago, and it made me cry because I was thinking how free-spirited I was and how open-minded I was, and then it’s like the media just like tears it away from you… It‘s not fun right now so I’m trying to...I‘m figuring it out.”
“Believe me, I get it,” Barrymore replied. “I have such faith that you will because even when you are struggling, you are aware of the struggle.”
While Eilish didn’t reference anything specifically, it’s easy to fathom just how trying it must be to have the eyes of the world on you at all times.
The price of fame is something Eilish has continued to dissect, like in her interview with Stormzy for the fall cover of i-D, where she explained that it can be “easy to feel like a failure” when so many people doubt you.
“It can be hard not to believe them,” she said. “I grew up with the internet. I use social media for the same reasons everyone else does, and you come across these videos saying you’re ugly and you suck and you’re terrible and that makes me feel like a failure. There are other things too, more concrete things, like when I disappoint myself, when I don’t feel how I said I was going to feel, or do the things I said to myself I was going to do…but failure is an interesting thing because, like success, it’s really only in your head.”
Billie’s new concert film, Happier Than Ever: A Love Letter to Los Angeles, arrived on Disney+ on Sept. 3. It chronicles her performance at the Hollywood Bowl with Gustavo Dudamel and the Los Angeles Philharmonic, as she plays through her chart-topping sophomore album Happier Than Ever.