Cardi B’s ‘That Dick Is the Devil’ Proclamation Gets Church of Satan’s Co-Sign

The Church of Satan has wisely endorsed Cardi's message.


Image via Getty/Gladys Vega


If you don't already count the Church of Satan as one of your Twitter follows, then you're tragically screwing yourself out of an onslaught of very good things. Whoever runs the account routinely takes time out of their day to correct imbeciles, mock idiots, and offer reasoned commentary on matters of pop culture and politics.

For their latest act of virality, the Church of Satan has "confirmed" a theory posited in this recent Cardi B tweet:

That dick is the devil 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

— Cardi B (@iamcardib) January 21, 2019

Indeed, within hours of Cardi positing that a certain dick was "the devil," the Church of Satan playfully vouched for this:


— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) January 21, 2019

When some started to push for a bit more insight on this "confirmed" status, the Church of Satan explained both the metaphorical importance of this "dick" and the metaphorical teachings at the center of the organization itself. "Satanism is a religion that recognizes and embraces humanity's carnal nature, so dicks, pussies, boobs, asses, etc. are often held in high regard," they said when asked if they worshipped Satan's penis. "We see Satan as a metaphor for best selves, so speaking in that context, sure."

For those well-versed on the Church of Satan, this makes a lot of sense. The organization, not to be confused with the recently-pissed-at-Netflix Satanic Temple, is built on Anton LaVey's idea of viewing Satan as a symbol. Despite what the remnants of Satanic Panic would have you believe, Satanists are actually atheists, meaning they don't believe in a traditional "god" or any of its purported enemies—Satan, etc. 

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