The Funniest Moments of the Rap War (So Far)

Rick Ross is the funniest rapper alive, so it’s no surprise that he entered this rap war locked and loaded with jokes. He’s like that kid on the playground who’s always hurling the most inappropriate jokes at you during a roast, but keeps getting away with it because he’s so funny. From calling Drake a “white boy” and accusing him of getting a nose job, to dropping his “Champagne Moments” response track and using the (real) yearbook photo of a white guy who looks like Drake as the cover art, Ross was born for this trolling shit. What makes his jabs so funny is how effortless they are. He isn’t just digging up dirt on Drake to try and make his jokes sting, he’s drinking Belaire poolside and posting the first inappropriate thing that comes to mind to his Instagram Story. If “Metro, shut yo hoe ass up and make some drums, nigga” is the funniest one-liner to come from this war so far, Ross telling Drake “If you got a fake body, you got a fake mind” and calling OVO the “pastrami posse” are close contenders.

Akademiks gets criticized for a lot of valid reasons, but I can’t lie, his over-the-top reactions to Drake's music are top-tier comedy, and he delivered another funny moment when he found out he was sampled on The Boy’s diss response. It reminded me of his reaction to Drake being on “Sicko Mode,” but it’s funnier because he’s reacting to Drake using a sample of him reacting to Certified Lover Boy. So it's got a reaction-Inception thing going on, and if we’re being honest, any Drake stan would have the same reaction to finding out that he sampled them at the end of his diss track.

This definitely wasn’t meant to be funny, but when I saw Metro share this squad photo with Future and The Weeknd on the same day that Drake dropped his response diss, I couldn’t help but think of that one hypebeast meme of the kids posted up in their school hallway in Supreme box logo hoodies. To add insult to injury, if Metro really shared this abysmal photo after he heard Drake’s diss response on purpose, then he deserved to get hit with the funniest one-liner of the rap war so far.

Drake is terrifying to beef with, not just because of his bars, but because of his limitless resources to carry out petty jokes. This is the same man who donated $75,000 to the recording studio at Meek Mill’s old high school when they were beefing and sent an invoice for $100,000 to Pusha-T with the fee listed as “Promotional assistance and career reviving” after he said he had an “invoice comin' to you” at the end of “Duppy Freestyle.” The Boy knows how to get under an opponent’s skin, and he’s reached new levels of psychological warfare by way of memes in his latest battle. Ever since his response diss track surfaced on Saturday, Drake has been a menace on Instagram, sharing selfies of Future’s manager Anthony Saleh and posting a deepfake video of Metro Boomin’s face on Nick Canon’s body from a scene in 2002’s Drumline, among other petty jokes*.* First of all, Drumline is a Black classic, but what makes it even more hilarious is that this is the part of the movie where Nick’s character is basically getting hazed as he tries to earn his spot on the drumline. Committing to the bit even harder, Drake also sent a marching band to perform outside of Magic City in Atlanta. Only a guy with a lot of time and boundless pettiness could consistently pull some shit like this off.