The early months of quarantine helped Lil Nas X in “killing off” some of his jealousy, including his jealousy toward Billie Eilish over her beating him out for Record of the Year at the 2020 Grammys.
In a new interview with British GQ Style, Nas opened up about his feelings after he lost the award at the show. Looking back, he recalls thinking “Damn, but how? I have the biggest song. That isn’t fair.”
But his time spent “literally in the house by myself” helped him put those feelings aside, he told the publication, as the 22-year-old’s perspective on the award, in particular, has surely changed.
“I put all that energy I was feeling onto [Billie],” he said. “It became jealousy that wasn’t warranted. You have the longest-running number-one song, why the fuck are you jealous about this award? We are already so blessed. Even if you don’t have these things, you’re here. You’re still alive. You exist. You shouldn’t have any reason to be jealous.”
Also in the feature, Nas explained what it was like to follow up a hit like “Old Town Road” with his 2020 single “Holiday,” which had him worried as its charting success was not as instantaneous. It peaked at No. 37 on Billboard’s Hot 100.
“The night before it came out, I was in my shower. I was like, ‘Oh god, I feel like I’m making a really bad decision,” he said. “I was just like...what’s happening?”
Eventually, he picked himself up and had faith in his art, adding that the “song is a reminder that I have the power to make any situation better.” The feature also touched on Nas’s upcoming debut album, Montero, which is due out this summer.
“You’re getting vulnerable Nas. You’re getting Happy Nas. You’re getting Nas in Love. You’re getting Simp Nas. You’re getting bad bitch Nas. You’re getting hood nigga Nas. You’re getting all of it, y’know,” he shared. “You’re getting all of me. I feel so free. For the first time in my life, these last couple of months, I’m just like, ‘I can do whatever.’”
