Image via Complex Original
Hip-hop has a lot of unanswered questions. There are literal ones like, "Who killed 2Pac and Biggie?" There are philosophical ones like, "Does it matter that Rick Ross used to be a correctional officer?" Then there are debatable ones like, "What's the best rap album of all time?"
So of course, rappers love to ask questions in their songs, and oftentimes they get answers. For example, A Tribe Called Quest asked, "Can I kick it?" and quickly got a response: "Yes you can!" Puffy asked his talented pal, "How you living, Biggie Smalls?" and got a whole verse of answers from the notorious one.
However, there are many questions that were never meant to be answered. Rhetorical questions.
From Lil Jon screaming "WHAT?" to Eminem asking if you think he gives a damn about winning a Grammy, we took a look back at some of the best rhetorical questions in hip-hop history. You ready? Wait, don't answer that.
Written by Insanul Ahmed (@Incilin)
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"What these bitches want from a nigga?" - DMX "What These Bitches Want" (1999)
Answer: At this point, probably just alimony.
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"Okay you're a goon, but what's a goon to a goblin?" - Lil Wayne "A Milli" (2008)
Answer: According to Weezy, "nothing."
"What's Gucci, my nigga? What's Louis, my killa?/What's drugs, my dealer? What's that jacket, Margiela?" - Kanye West "Niggas in Paris" (2011)
Answer: No, the jacket is J. Crew.
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"Have you ever had the feeling that you was being had?" - Lupe Fiasco "The Show Goes On" (2010)
Answer: Only when listening to Lasers.
"How many rappers must get dissed before someone says don't fuck with Kris?" - KRS-One "My Philosophy" (1988)
Answer: Nelly.
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"First of all, who's your A&R? A mountain climber who plays an electric guitar?" - The GZA "Protect Ya Neck" (1992)
Answer: This was always taken as a diss, but that A&R sounds like a pretty rad guy.
"Am I really just a narcissist/Cause I wake up to a bowl of lobster bisque?" - Rick Ross "I Love My Bitches" (2011)
Answer: No, you're just really fat.
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"Are you mad because I'm asking you 21 questions?" - 50 Cent "21 Questions" (2003)
Answer: Actually, yes, we're super pissed. What is this? The GED exam?
"Who's the Black Sheep/What's the Black Sheep?" - Dres "Choice Is Yours" (1991)
Answer: A washed-up hip-hop duo from the '90s.
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"Yo why'd you throw that chair at Geraldo Rivera?" - Ad-Rock "What Comes Around" (1989)
Answer: Because he's a shitty journalist.
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"Do you wanna ride or die?" 2Pac "Hail Mary" (1996)
Answer: Any type of ride sounds better than death. Let's go with "ride." Final answer.
"Who shot ya?" - The Notorious B.I.G. "Who Shot Ya?" (1995)
Answer: That remains a bit of a mystery.
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"Who got da props?" - Buckshot "Who Got da Props?" (1993)
Answer: Nowadays, the only member of Boot Camp that really gets props is Sean Price.
"When's the last time you heard it like this?" - Pharrell "When the Last Time" (2002)
Answer: Never, because in their prime, the Neptunes sound was so futuristic that 10 years later it still sounds brand new.
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"Can't a young man make money anymore?" - LL Cool J "Illegal Search" (1990)
Answer: Obviously, LL isn't aware that being a young black man is basically a federal offense in America. Also, shout out to all the heads who think they know their rap shit but are all like, "Kanye totally stole those lines on 'Cold' from Ma$e."
"Who shot Biggie Smalls? - M1 "Hip-Hop" (2005)
Answer: According to a former L.A.P.D. detective who investigated the case, it was Wardell Fouse a.k.a Darnell Bolton a.k.a. “Poochie.”
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"What the blood cot?" - Method Man "What The Blood Cot" (1994)
Answer: That's what every Jamaican person in the world said when they heard Tical's terrible Jafakin accent in The Wackness.
"Damn homie, in high school you was the man, homie/What the fuck happened to you?" - 50 Cent "Wanksta" (2002)
Answer: We ask ourselves this every time 50 releases new material.
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"Who you calling a bitch?" - Queen Latifah "U.N.I.T.Y." (1994)
Answer: According to nearly every rapper, just about any female.
"Where my dogs at?" - DMX "Get At Me Dog" (1998)
Answer: In Arizona, where you left them.
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"Have you ever had shoes without shoe strings?" - Kanye West "Run This Town" (2009)
Answer: Yup, we call them loafers.
"Trying to be White or a Jew/But ask yourself, who are they to be equal to?" - Ice Cube "True To The Game" (1991)
Answer: Basically.
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"Damn, what happened to the summertime cookouts?" - The Notorious B.I.G. "Things Done Changed" (1994)
Answer: It became Fall and it got too cold.
"You think I give a damn about a Grammy?" - Eminem "The Real Slim Shady" (2000)
Answer: Actually, we think you do. You won Best Rap Album a bunch of times and that speech where you shouted out your favorite rappers was pretty awesome.
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"Now who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Court?" - Andre 3000 "SpottieOttieDopaliscious" (1998)
Answer: Apparently, J. Cole and Drake, who've both reinterpreted the line.
"Wake up in the morning and I ask myself: Is life worth living or should I blast myself?" - 2Pac "Changes" (1998)
Answer: Life is definitely worth living.
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"Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?" - Kanye West "Monster" (2010)
Answer: No, because they're all dead now and necrophilia isn't hot in the streets.
"If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?" - Rakim "As The Rhyme Goes On" (1987)
Answer: This was probably Eric B.'s response when asked about the persistent rumor that Marley Marl ghost-produced Paid In Full.
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"Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date, but a year to make love she wanted you to wait?" - Biz Markie "Just A Friend" (1989)
Answer: Yes, we've dated Indian girls.
"Why did Bush knock down the Towers?" - Jadakiss "Why" (2004)
Answer: Sorry Jada, that's some straight crazy talk we're not into. The better question is, why did Putin blow up those buildings?
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"Forever, foreva eva? Foreva eva?" - Andre 3000 "Miss Jackson" (2001)
Answer: IT'S THE RETURN OF 4EVA HOE!
"Whats up with these new niggas?/And why they think it all comes so easy?" - Drake "I'm On One" (2011)
Answer: Because they're getting million dollar deals after having one song go viral.
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"Why you babysitting, only two or three shots?" - Kendrick Lamar "Swimming Pools (Drank)" (2012)
Answer: Because we're unsure about how alcohol mixes with Molly.
"What you tryna be, my new wife? What you Mariah?" - Eminem "Superman" (2003)
Answer: Well, it's not like anyone wants to be the new Kim.
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"How ya like me now?" - Kool Moe Dee "How Ya Like Me Now" (1987)
Answer: Less, because LL totally ethered your shit?
"What up gang-staaa?" - 50 Cent "What Up Gangsta" (2003)
Answer: Good afternoon, sir.
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"How you want it, head or gut?" - Illegal "Head or Gut" (1993)
Answer: Actually, both sound rather uncomfortable.
"Oh you fancy, huh?" - Drake "Fancy" (2010)
Answer: If refusing to eat at any restaurant that doesn't get a "$$$$" rating on Yelp qualifies as fancy, sure.
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"How long will they mourn me?" - 2Pac "How Long Will They Mourn Me?" (1994)
Answer: Until about 2006 when bloggers start hating on you and say you're overrated because they need to be controversial.
"Can I get an encore? Do you want more?" - Jay-Z "Encore" (2003)
Answer: Why not? We know you "got a million of these."
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"How you gonna win when you ain't right within?" - Lauryn Hill "Doo Wop (That Thing)" (1998)
Answer: Not only can't you win if you ain't right within, but you also can't sing, tour, make a comeback, or look like a sane person.
"Have you ever popped champagne on a plane, while gettin' some brain?" - Kanye West "Good Life" (2007)
Answer: No, but we once went on Rihanna's plane and didn't see sunlight for a full week.
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"This or that? This or that?" - Dres "Choice Is Yours" (1991)
Answer: Whenever presented with a binary choice, we always respond with: There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, and those who don't.
"Why oh why did I need cappuccino?" - MC Lyte "Cappucino" (1989)
Answer: Because cappuccino was a popular drink and it still is.
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"Can I live?" - Jay-Z "Can I Live?" (1996)
Answer: Yes, unlike Biggie, 2Pac, Big L, and all your favorite rappers, you can, in fact, live.
"Bass, how low can you go?" - Chuck D "Bring the Noise" (1987)
Answer: We need a better pair of speakers to accurately determine that.
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"Who they attracting with that line: What's your name, what's your sign?" - The Notorious B.I.G. "Big Poppa" (1994)
Answer: Did people really use that line in the '90s?
"I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?" - Jay-Z "99 Problems" (2003)
Answer: Facts that perplex those who didn't grow up with holes in their zapatos.
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