The 50 Funniest Good Advice Duck Memes

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50. Stop and Go Traffic

"If you're stuck in stop-and-go traffic pick a lane and stick to it. Constantly switching lanes makes the traffic worse."

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49.. Ex-girlfriend tip

"If a guy tells you all his ex-girlfriends are crazy, he probably doesn't know how to treat women."

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48. Online Ordering

"If you are a restaurant owner, posting your menu online will get you more business."

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47. Bottom Brews

"When grabbing someone a beer from a cooler, it's nice to grab the bottom brews"

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46. Warm Weather Motorcycling

"If you ride motorcycles, try to avoid the tar squiggles on the road"

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45. Political Facebooking

"If you look through Obama's facebook photo comments, you're going to have a bad time "

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44. Perfect friends

"You will never find the perfect friend that never makes mistakes, so try hard to forgive your friends if they screw up every now and then."

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43. Glasses Cleaning

"To clean your glasses, wash your hands with soap and then put soap on your finger and scrub your glasses, gently then rinse."

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42. Readers Block

"If someone is reading, they don't want to be talked to."

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41. Time for a New Laptop

"If you're getting very good at taking the battery out of your laptop, time for a new laptop."

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40. Sports History

"Don't leave a sports game early, history is made in the final seconds."

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39. College Choices

"It's not just about getting into the school, it's about being able to afford it. "

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38. Safety Hazard

"Do not put your feet up on a car's dashboard. Airbags do not go off like they do in the movies. They go off like small bombs "

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37. Reddit

"If you try to post on reddit without knowing about memes, you're going to have a bad time "

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36. Ordering Fish

"Don't order the fish unless you're at a seafood restaurant."

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35. PB&H

"Drizzle honey on your peanut butter sandwich, it is delicious."

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34. Professionalism

" If you have a website for your business, don't include background music."

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33. Microwave Pizza

"When microwaving pizza put a glass of water in with it. It will keep the pizza from getting spongey."

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32. Job Search

"Don't continually ask someone how their job search is going. It is going terribly until they tell you they got a new job."

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31. Amazon Reviews

"When shopping on Amazon, read the 3-star reviews. Users that rate a product in the middle tend to list both pros and cons."

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30. Parental Guidance

"If your significant other wrongs you, don't vent to your parents about it. You might forgive them one day but your parents wont."

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29. Relevance of Media

"Re-read books and re-watch movies at different times in your life. The stories don't change but your perspective does."

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28. Date Night

"Instead of going to dinner and a movie, go to the movie first followed by dinner after. This way you have something to talk about at dinner."

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27. Softball

"When you see a jacked 6-foot-2 guy walking to the softball field he's probably going to be better than you."

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26. Car Chase

"If you are being chased by someone in a car and you are on foot, you might want to rethink some of you life choices."

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25. Online Entertainment

"If you ever feel bored, stressed or depressed type 'silk' into Google and click the first link"

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24. South Facing Satellites

"Disoriented in a neighborhood you've never been in? Look for satellite dishes on the houses. They face south."

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23. Locks and Keys

"If one key opens many locks, then it's a master key. If one lock is opened by many keys, it's a shitty lock.."

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22. Road Crossing

"When crossing the road, make sure you stop, look and listen before crossing."

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21. What Women Want

"Get into the habit of putting the toilet seat down, it;s not hard and women appreciate it."

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20. Best Way to Live

"If you want to live, breathe."

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19. Spoiler Alert

"Be careful not to IMDB that show you're catching up on. The amount of episodes a character is in will spoil the series."

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18. Forgot Her Name?

"Forget a girl's name at a party that you were chatting up? When you get her number, ask how to spell her name or have her put her number in your phone for you. "

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17. Misquoting Memes

"Misquote a person and nobody bats an eye. "Misquote a meme and everyone loses their minds!"-Abraham Lincoln "

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16. Couch Potato

"If you walked 2 miles on a treadmill today, you did not 'earn' McDonald's for lunch."

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15. Cheeto Conundrum

"Eating Cheetos at the computer? Use chopsticks. It keeps the orange off your hands."

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14. Resturant Knowledge

"If you get hit on by a waitress, she wants the tip."

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13. Healthy eating

"Want to eat healthy? Here's a tip, don't eat anything that has a television commercial."

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12. The One

"If she laughs when you fart, marry her"

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11. Creepy old men

"If an older guy is flirting with you and you want him to stop, smile at him and call him "sir." He'll stop immediately."

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10. Pregnancy Assumptions

"Unless you can see a baby currently coming out of her. Never, ever even imply that a woman is pregnant."

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9. Eye Contact

"If you make eye contact with a girl smile before you look away. You'll seem significantly less awkward than you feel."

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8. Car Insurance

"You can save a lot of money [on car insurance, gas, maintenance, and parking] not by switching providers but by switching to a bike."

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7. Good Advice Duck

"Confused between the red and green mallard memes? Get an oftalmologist to check for color blindness."

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6. Class Registration

"On ratemyprofessor.com look for the 'hot' male professors, all of the hot female students sign up for his class."

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5. In a Rush

"If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop a guy running with a fire extinguisher."

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4. Gift-Giving

"Browse her Pinterest and Etsy. It's literally a list of things she wants."

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3. Relationship Advice

"If your girlfriend is noticeably angry at you and you don't know why, you need to work on your attention and empathy skills."

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2. Roommate Problems

"Call your roommate's phone when his/her phone alarm is going off. It'll shut the alarm off without making you get up."

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1. Excuses

"If you need to tell a believable lie, tell them you had diarrhea. No one ever had follow up questions about diarrhea."

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