A Father's Day Gift Guide for Kanye West

The day is almost here when Kanye West becomes a father. While the polarizing rapper also has another baby on the way—his album Yeezus—it was reported earlier this month that he and Kim Kardashian are expecting a baby girl. With Father's Day coming up this weekend, we're sure the expectant father is about to be showered with gifts.

If Kanye's pricey gift to Jay-Z on last year's Father's Day is any indication, some are definitely going to be extravagant. And since Mr. West is so fond of referencing his material goods in his music, we went ahead and thought of possible lines for him too. If you're looking to give Yeezy a gift on the occasion and find yourself totally stumped, just consult our (not-so-serious) Father's Day Gift Guide for Kanye West. You might need to take out a loan—or five.

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Future Kanye lyrics: "You gon' see fathers and daughters in Jordans."
Approximate price: $506, Flight Club; $45, Nike Store

Of course Kanye's child can't be walking around in basic kicks. As soon as she's able, we imagine we'll be seeing his daughter taking her first steps in Jordan 1s. Her dad's been rocking the Banned Red/Black colorway all over stylish Parisian streets, and there's no better (or more literal) way for his progeny to follow in his footsteps. Every sneakerhead knows it never hurts to have multiple pairs, so ante-up and get two: one for him, one for his kid. The other possibility? Custom toddler-sized Yeezys for his kid. There are mini, handpainted replicas, but we wouldn't be surprised if Nike hooks up 'Ye with a few limited-edition pairs.

Future Kanye lyrics: "My team stay winnin', my daughter's silver spoon been in / Wipe the caviar off her mouth with Versace linen."
Approximate price: $395, Versace

Normal linens aren't good enough for Kanye. These elegant towels from Versace feature the iconic Medusa logo and the Greca motif. Although there are four colors available, the only ones we can see making it into the West/Kardashian household are black and white. And they'll probably need multiple sets.

Future Kanye lyrics: "I told y'all I 'buy any jeans necessary' / Black leather, washed denim: dad jeans necessary."
Approximate price: $1,450, Ssense

Kanye and Balmain jeans go way back. He wore the jeans when Virgil launched PYREX Vision and also when he infamously stole the spotlight from Taylor Swift. Washed denim jeans have long been associated with fuddy-duddy dad style, but recently there have been a grip available in great fits made out of awesome fabrics. Lucky for Kanye these Balmain Reinforced Distressed Biker Jeans are built with extra panels so they don't rip while carrying the baby, and they're also made in Japan for that extra street cred. They'll be good pinch-hitters for his black leather jeans—he doesn't want the baby to throw up on those, after all.

Future Kanye lyrics: "I took rap then I turned the tables / Now I'm the hand that rocks the Baroque Cradle."
Approximate price: Unknown, Rijksmuseum

When the album art for Cruel Summer was revealed, West not only continued to show his artistic side, but exhibited an interested in Baroque art. Originating in the 1600s, the Baroque movement used exaggerated motion and heavy amounts of detail to convey exuberance, drama, and grandeur—or as Kanye would put it: "Beauty, truth, awesomeness." This cradle was constructed in the 17th Century out of ebony and ivory for a Dutch family. It's currently on display in Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum, but we're sure it's available for a very hefty asking price.

Future Kanye lyrics: "In seventh grade I told coach 'but I hit every shot!' / Look at me now, you ain't got what I got."
Approximate price: Price Upon Request, Chanel

Kanye's recent interview with The New York Times revealed how determined he was to make his eighth-grade basketball team, what better way to commemorate that than with an item that combines his favorite sport with a high-fashion twist?

Future Kanye lyrics: "Even when I gotta be on my dad swag / Keep the Luvs in the LV monogram bag."
Approximate price: $800+, eBay

Not that Kanye will actually have to carry a diaper bag—we're pretty sure his weed carrier will just get a promotion. That doesn't mean whoever's in charge of toting around Yeezy's baby gear has to do it like a schmuck though. Kanye was known early on for carrying around a Louis Vuitton monogram backpack, so a diaper bag with the same treatment is a natural progression for him. Extra points if he also has one in Takashi Murakami's Monogramouflage.

Future Kanye lyrics: "Callin' out all gentlemen / Y'all can't even fuck with me / Sitting at my table with my Hermés cutlery."
Approximate price: $175-$600, Hermés

Kanye can fire shots at Drake when his dining table is decked out in French finery from Hermés. The HTS collection stands for "Hermés tout simple," and consists of various elegantly-designed silverware staples finished in a combination of matte and mirror polish, for cutlery that is shiny and subtle at the same time.

Future Kanye lyrics: "I know a thing or two, I got a model cell. / I made some shoes too, I know my model sells."
Approximate price: $1,135, Carolina Biological Supply Company

Kanye's stand-out quote from his recent interview? That has to be "I understand culture. I am the nucleus." Let that moment live on forever with this animal cell model. He can also brush up on his molecular biology by referring to the plaque at the bottom of the cell, clearly outlining all of the parts. Perhaps he'll realize that not only is he the nucleus of culture, but also the mitochondrion of high-fashion.

Future Kanye lyrics: "Mick asked me to drinks for career advice / 250k dagger just to break the ice."
Approximate price: $250,000, Various Nightclubs

Released in 2008 as a semi-serious publicity stunt by Belvedere vodka and accessories designer Jade Jagger (yep, Mick's daughter), the "Jagger Dagger" is an extravagantly designed ice pick with an ornate 18K white gold hilt studded with 12 carats of diamonds and various precious gems. The ornate blade is made of carbon steel with an engraving of the same tree branches on the Belvedere bottle. Not a bad item for Yeezy to have on hand at his next soiree—it's the ultimate "ice breaker."

Future Kanye lyric: "See me touching down in Paris / No train for me, gotta catch the Airbus."
Approximate price: $70 million, James Edition

Keep Kanye in his PJs with his very own PJ. This 2002 Airbus is available for purchase and currently located in Paris. Among its features are a bedroom, private office, and a bathroom with a shower. It also boasts WiFi access and a bunch of screens. We're talking two 42" wall-mounted screens, five 21" wall-mounted screens, and 10" LCD armrest screens.—perfect for projecting images of his face rapping "New Slaves" to everyone aboard.

Future Kanye lyrics: "Gave a skull to Jay first; this year he gave me Dame Hirst's. / Don't forget 'I Am A God;' now I own 'For the Love of God.'"
Approximate price: $100 million, White Cube Gallery London

Kanye wished Jay-Z a happy father's day last year by gifting him with a $34,000 golden skull. Now that the tables have turned, it's fitting that Hova return the favor by purchasing Damien Hirst's "For the Love of God," a 2007 piece consisting of a human skull encrusted with 8,601 high-quality diamonds. The asking price? $100 million... roughly 1/5 of Jay-Z's net worth.