10 Signs You're Overdressed for the Summer

You have such a hard-on for #menswear that you saved up for months for a bespoke linen suit to go with the other wool ones in your closet. You feel naked without a pocket square and have more ties that you will ever wear in your lifetime. Unfortunately, summer is the worst possible time to be dressed up. Also, the dudes in suits that bag all the hot girls get the attention because they are either 1) really, really rich or 2) really, really good looking. So unless you're loaded or ripped, that suit won't be doing you any favors with the ladies.

This is the most unnecessary garment on the planet. "Summer" and "scarf" couldn't be any further apart. What possible weather condition would this be perfect for? Perhaps if you felt a slight breeze—like from private jet engines or an ill Uber helicopter... because the only people who really wear these are rich, douchebags, or rich douchebags.

Plenty of people ran out and bought Kanye West's collaboration with A.P.C. the day it came out. Thing is—New York City is in the middle of a heatwave. People who can't keep their newly copped goods on ice are the worst. These so-called "season pushers" can't wait for the temperature to drop to a balmy 79 degrees—when they think "it's in the 70s outside!" so they have an excuse to wear their hoodies... only to drown in sweat as soon as they take two steps.

The talk of Summer Jam was the fact that so many people were wearing leather. Fact: Balls are about 97 degrees on average, so when the mecury rises that high, it is literally hot as balls. Why would any opt to wear one of the heaviest fabrics on one of the hottest days? Even if many celebrities are doing it, that doesn't mean it's a practical trend to follow.

Actor Cary Grant reportedly said, "If I want to wear short sleeves, I'll roll them up." Well you know what? It's 2013 and Cary Grant is dead. If he were alive today, he would be a victim of global warming like the rest of us, and he'd have no choice but to get some short-sleeve shirts. Back in his day, they were associated with nerds and Mormon missionaires-but now, companies like WHARF make versions that fit well and look great. Meanwhile, "The Book of Mormon" is the hottest ticket on Broadway. Who's got the last laugh now, Cary Grant?!

If people are asking if you're hot, that means you may be wearing one too many layers. At most, you may be able to wear a T-shirt or tank top with a lightweight layer like an unbuttoned shirt or unlined cotton jacket. Anything more than that, and you'll likely turn into a walking sauna... or straight-up melt.

Let the 22 oz. denim chill for a bit. It's way too hot to try to break in some raw jeans. Opt for a nice pair of washed denim or even cotton pants like chinos. Your crotch area will thank you for giving them some respite from the pain of wearing super-abrasive fabric in 90-degree heat.

The summer beanie is an affront to humanity. You don't wear quilted jackets or sweaters when it's hot as hell—why would you want to subject your head to the equivalent of a thick sock? Let your scalp breathe a little.

Um, your only choices here should be between board shorts, trunks, tank tops, and T-shirts—maybe even sandals or slip-on sneakers. Anything more than that, and you're just trying too hard.