Image via Complex Original
Face it: New York Fashion Week is not all that it's hyped to be. In fact, it kinda sucks. It kinda sucks butt. What you see online is a polished product that is only the surface of what truly goes down over the course of about a dozen days or so. What is really going down between the stylized backstage pics, fantastic runway shots on Style.com, and inspiring street style from your favorite photos is a lot of shit that makes most participants happy that NYFW is a bi-annual event. Beyond the glitz and the glamor, these are 10 Reasons Why New York Fashion Week Sucks Butt.
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For approximately 10 days, you're cut off from friends, family, and the outside world.
You might as well tell your girlfriend, homies, family, and landlord that you're going off-grid for the next week and a half. Everything happening in sports, politics, and your personal life is taking a backseat to the fashunz.
There's a good chance you hook up with a colleague or someone you see regularly in a professional capacity.
Open bars and late parties will undoubtedly result in some sloppy face-tangling with someone you either work with or work for on the daily. Inter-industry hook-ups means post-NYFW hibernation, as everyone tries to avoid the terrible, "Oh heyyyy..." that occurs next time you run into one another.
Your blood becomes 84% Diet Coke.
NYFW might as well be sponsored entirely by the liquid crack that is Diet Coke. The publicists, designers, models, editors, production people, and everyone else should just mainline the black gold into their necks to save everyone the time it takes to drink the stuff, and free up both hands. Post-NYFW withdrawal is not uncommon, and yet it's still the second most popular type of coke during the week.
You're hungover every day.
Not much else more to say.
Shows never start on time and it's impossible to keep a schedule.
LOLing at the notion you had that you'd be able to run errands between shows, have lunches and dinners with people you haven't seen in a minute, and hit every single appointment on your calendar. Good luck doing all that when everything is running about half an hour to three hours late.
You end up spending $481.22 on cabs.
Even though taking the subway is usually faster, the new boots you're trying to break in are killing you and you miraculously see an empty cab heading your way. This happens approximately 18 times throughout the week, and soon your transportation bills are higher than the rapper who's being paid to host a brand's after-party.
You always see someone who pulls off a style risk you're too shook to take.
Every dude knows the moment when you pick something crazy out of your closet and decide, "Nah, not today. Shit's too wild." Most days, this decision to pussy out will stay there. But during NYFW you'll probably see some dude who decided to take the plunge and is pulling it off, making you instantly face-palm for not having the cajones to not give no fucks.
You have to skip lunch (and dinner) every day.
Sorry, NYFW, but free mini-protein bars and the latest trendy bottled water isn't going to cut it for able-bodied men. When is NYFW going to partner with Shake Shack on some twice-a-year fashion sliders? With shows going on all day and not much great food located near the isolated hubs of shows, you better pack a lunch if you don't want your stomach to start eating itself.
It takes at least a week to recover.
After a whirlwind week and a half of late nights, early mornings, and shitting on any semblance of taking care of yourself, you're absolutely fucked when it comes to catching up on work and life. Your inbox count is higher than the difference the Knicks lose by, your pet and/or girl probably ditched you for someone more caring, and you probably developed some rare strain of influenza that is only hitting you now. By the time you're fully recovered, spring/summer 2015 NYFW is here.
You realize how much more money other people make because of their expensive-ass clothes.
So you made the plunge and copped some outerwear for half off from last season on the 15th. It may have taken a week of eating Cup Noodle to save up, and you may have had to go one size up 'cause that's all that was left, but you feel like you're about to sem-stunt on that one show-packed day. Then you see what other people are affording, and you realize that you're fucking with entirely different tax brackets. You can comfort yourself by thinking that these dudes just place too much importance on gear, but it's probably also time you try to lengthen your dough.
