Image via Complex Original
The world is going to hell in a hand-basket, and unless someone does something drastic, it looks like war, famine, global warming, poverty, and nuclear instability are going to destroy us all. However, our last shimmering hope as inhabitants of Earth oddly lies in the hands of hypebeasts. Yes, hypebeasts are going to save us from ourselves.
The same evil factors that have made the world a pretty ugly place are going to become even stronger in 2014. It may seem unorthodox, but we should abandon all manner of global upkeep that currently ain't doing shit. Instead of diplomatic relations, science, and good will towards fellow man, we should instead put all our faith in the 10 Ways Hypebeasts Will Save the World.
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A former hypebeast-turned-scientist engineers crops that thrive off of month-old streetwear, and hypebeasts are more than happy to provide the fertilizer that eventually feeds billions.
A former hypebeast-turned-scientist engineers crops that thrive off of month-old streetwear, and hypebeasts are more than happy to provide the outdated gear that eventually feeds billions.
Racism is eradicated when man is not judged by the color of his skin, but the freshness of his 5-panel.
Racism is eradicated when man is not judged by the color of his skin, but the trillness of his snapback.
Jordan's will become the universal currency, eliminating unfair trade balances, current debt, and establishing a united global economy.
Jordan's will become the universal currency, eliminating unfair trade balances, current debts, and establishing a united global economy.
After worldwide famine hits, the starving will feast upon the bones of hypebeasts, who have the tenderness and vulnerability of veal after standing in line all their lives.
After worldwide famine hits, the starving masses will feast upon the flesh of hypebeasts, who, after standing in lines and being on Tumblr all their lives have the tenderness and vulnerability of veal.
Supreme will officially become an organized religion, and will preach a word of love and kindness that hypebeasts will spread all over the world.
Supreme will officially become an organized religion, and will preach a word of love and kindness that hypebeasts will spread all over the world.
The world's supply of camo will be bought up by hypebeasts, and fighting armies will be forced to make peace.
The world's supply of camo will be bought up by hypebeasts, and warring armies will be forced to make peace.
Online forum posting and shopping means hypebeasts will stay at home instead of driving, dropping carbon dioxide levels to reasonable levels.
Posting on forums and shopping online means hypebeasts will stay at home instead of driving, dropping carbon dioxide levels to reasonable levels.
A line of hypebeasts waiting outside of a store for a drop will block an incoming flash flood.
A tsunami will head directly towards a major city, but a line of hypebeasts waiting outside for a store's drop will block the incoming wave, saving millions.
Feuding ethnic groups will make peace after being thankful that they don't have to deal with hypebeasts.
Feuding ethnic groups will put aside their differences and make peace after bonding over their mutual distaste for hypebeasts.
