10 Signs You're A Hypebeast

Image via Complex Original

You don't buy anything you can't flip. You think that makes you a good businessman, but instead it makes you part of the problem. Here's an idea: buy stuff you actually like, and want to wear. Maybe, down the line, when you decide you're tired of it, give it away to a friend, donate it, or sell it on the Internet on a forum to someone who can appreciate it as well as you did—for less than the price you bought it sure, but still a better price than you'd get at a consignment shop.

If it hasn't been posted about on the Internet, you dismiss it as something not worth knowing about. This is a shame because a lot of the hyped brands getting overexposed often aren't as cool in person as they are in stylized lookbooks or flat product shots. Not to mention, all brands fit differently, and yes, there are some out there who wish to downplay their involvement in the blogosphere and focus on just making good stuff. Wouldn't you rather be the dude who discovers a cool label months before the Internet does? Stores like UNION Los Angeles pride themselves in their ability to predict what's gonna be hot way before "influencers" do. So ask yourself whose opinion matters more: retailers and buyers who've been in the trenches for years, or some dude on tumblr with a reblog button and a half-decent eye for cool shit?

Chances are, in a period of five to ten years, you may have been able to buy a car or some real estate. If you can keep up your rent/mortgage and still afford nice gear, then good for you. But on the other hand, if you're the type that's in deep debt due to impulsive shopping, or are willing to starve yourself just to afford a $300 T-shirt, you might want to rethink your priorities.

Your main goal when you get up in the morning is to stunt on everyone else. No matter if you're at the grocery store, class, or getting the mail, you're obsessed with being the best-dressed person for miles. But really, no one's paying that much attention to what you wear. And is the occasional compliment or stare of approval worth turning into a complete douche nozzle?

You wait with bated breath after you take a fresh selfie, waiting for the little heart to start showing a number instead of a list of names. If the highlight of your day is seeing that counter hit 11 and up, you really need to think about your priorities in life.

Look, celebrity style is cool because there is a small iota of joy in knowing that famous people and/or tastemakers are into the same shit you are. It's also a good way to gauge trends and what kinds of labels, designers, and gear the Illuminati have currently deemed "cool." But don't get it twisted, just because they're wearing something is not a clarion call to emulate their wardrobe. By all means, get inspired to take a style risk, but you don't have to go broke buying a Lanvin bomber jacket when there are affordable versions on the market.

Maybe you had no idea Mighty Healthy got its name from a Ghostface Killah song, or don't really care about the history of Stussy. That means you're the type of person that is simply a consumer, rather than a conscious participant in the ongoing culture of fashion and streetwear. Buying shit blindly is whatever, because at the end of the day all that matters is numbers, but being able to look at your purchases and justify them either because of fit, context, liking the designer's style, or pretty much any other reason than "I read about this on the Internet" makes you more than a sheep.

You have no problem enduring frigid temperatures if there's a limited-edition release on the line. You can pitch a tent like a champ, but only on concrete. You have 10 different types of lawn chairs but have never cut grass in your life. If there were a merit badge for "swag," you might actually have it.

Like buyer's remorse, retail therapy is an actual thing. If scoring an item that instantly sells out gets you more excited than say, a promotion at work or landing a date with a real life human being, you might have a problem. There's nothing wrong with basking in the glow of post-cop happiness, especially if you realize that it's fleeting. But hey, if you're 100% sure you're putting your money into something you genuinely love and will wear the shit out of, no one can take that away from you.

We all remember The 40 Year-Old Virgin—the unopened toys and huge collection are all symbols of the hero's own "deadstock" condition. Clothes and kicks are meant to be worn, not collected. Stuff looks much better moving on a person than inert on a hanger. Trust, there's more to life than taking the best eBay shots and hoping demand for a product you never wanted in the first place is your get-rich-quick scheme to happiness. Don't be that guy.