The 10 Types of Hypebeasts Over the Age of 30

Like anyone else, as hypebeasts age, they slowly but surely realize their intended lot in life, and the pursuits and interests that matter the most trump the more petty and disposable concerns. Sure, the line outside of Supreme and in the virtual crowds in forums might looks like a homogenous blob of teens and young men, but the horde will disperse as the years march on. Each individual will (hopefully) gain wisdom to the point that each choice in life is more considered, patient, and smarter. Or not, since these are hypebeasts we're talking about. If you'd like to take a glimpse into your future, then click through The 10 Types of Hypebeasts Over the Age of 30.

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Overheard saying: "No worries, homie. Of course you get the friends and fam discount."

If this streetwear head has made it into his 30s with a shop that hasn't bankrupted his entire life, then of course dude is zenned out and happy to share the wealth and wisdom with the young bucks who have made the store their second home. A shop owner clearly has the winning formula figured out, so he ain't worried 'bout nothin'. That and the back room that reeks of recently smoked trees.

Overheard saying: "Who's laughing at my clothes now, bitch."

This guy flourished late in life, but when he did, it was a serious come-up on some Silicon Valley angel investment type shit. Whatever it was he did to elevate his financials by a bagrillion percent, he took it upon himself to dress in the type of streetwear that was dope many moons ago in the hopes of stunting on the assholes who nearly swirlied him into oblivion back in high school. Didn't really work out, homie. But if you're looking for a personal shopper, holler!

Overheard saying: "I can't fuckin' skate in this bullshit."

These guys were tearing up cities when skate wear and streetwear were still mutually exclusive from one another. So imagine how these sore-kneed dudes feel now that luxe streetwear is a real thing, and the convergence of high-fashion and streetwear is the biggest combo since skating and streetwear. Regardless of how dismissive these possessors of banged-up shins may be of that new new, legends like the Gonz will always look cool while combining their inherently rebellious sport and the classic gear they still proudly rock.

Overheard saying: "What the hell is 'trill?'"

Even if they're artificially constructed as opposed to being true hypebeasts, these people entertain the shit out of us. Whether it's @sneakergrandma or @baddiewinkle, it's pretty clear that they're just fucking around with their grandchildren, but it's strangely awesome to see very old people wearing the shit hypebeasts of an appropriate age crave so hard. Explain that, psychology.

Overheard saying: "Mom! I told you to wash these graphic tees in cold water!"

The 30-something man-child has been celebrated in recent times via Judd Apatow movies, and IRL you see this celebration of the inner child reflected in wearing gear that's clearly meant for a younger demographic. While not quite as bad as head-to-toe Ed Hardy, seeing a guy who still lives at home and is devotedly waiting on line for every Supreme drop is a sight that makes you pause and say, "Man, I should really update my resumé..."

Overheard saying: "I think I saw Bieber wearing this."

Oh man, is there anything that makes a celebrity's irrelevance more obvious than him trying to be relevant? When you see a celebrity take a trend du jour and apply maximum turbo levels of aggressiveness, both the trend and the celebrity's credibility are pretty much over. Whether they're trying to re-emerge from a scandal, or just attempting some sort of comeback into the cultural zeitgeist, celebrities are too often guilty of being the ultimate hypebeasts out there.

Overheard saying: "They've just run out of ideas."

Like in most areas of life, you have to respect the OGs of the game who paved the way for our relatively easy way of life. You can't fault them for always lamenting the passing of the golden era of sneakers and streetwear. After all, these guys were literally out here with early Internet capabilities and operating strictly by word-of-mouth. Next time you get frustrated explaining to your oldhead what a bot is, just remember that this dude is essentially a WWII vet who defeated the Nazis so we could live our way of life...except maybe a little less important.

Overheard saying: "Sorry, not budging on price."

Dude's survived four waves of streetwear and three economic crises. You're not going to persuade him to give you free shipping, bruh. This guy was probably in business school during Clinton's first administration, but got bitten by the graphic tee bug, and, lacking any artistic merit, carved out his own lane turning a handy profit by clicking a few buttons and ignoring your pleas for sympathy. Gotta respect the business, man, and the years of experience that have turned him into such a cold-blooded killer.

Overheard saying: "You boys hangin' out? I'll hang out!"

You kinda gotta feel a little sorry for the dad who thinks turning his golf cap around and switching from cardigans to hoodies will bring him back to his glory days. The only problem is, he's now encroaching on your current glory days. Be careful when he starts asking you for good places to shop. When he starts yelling you about his "jawnz," start seeking help. If he steals your gear, it's time for an intervention.

Overheard saying: "You really think I give a fuck at my age?"

As you get older, you wisen up on what really matters in life. And you know what doesn't matter? Spending time and energy worrying about how others perceive you. Sure, a lot of guys seem to give up on dressing well after hitting 30. But so many others act as inspiration by eradicating any fucks that remained at age 29 and continuing to do what they enjoy most.