Image via Complex Original
With November officially upon us, guys will be avoiding their razors and growing out their facial hair in the name of Movemeber or, "No Shave November." Some dudes undertake this challenge to raise money and awareness for good causes, but, most men just treat the month-long celebration as an excuse to let their facial hair grow untamed and scraggly without guilt.
We can appreciate the altruism behind some people's Movembers, but there's definitely a way to give support without indulging in this annual faux-holiday. If you do find yourself dreading this particular month and want to keep it clean, then fuck it! No one ever said you had to let your beard flourish/struggle for 30 days. Here are 10 Reasons You Should Absolutely, Positively Skip Movember.
Girls Like Guys Without Facial Hair
If you're lucky enough to have a girl who can handle your neurotic bullshit every day, it's likely she won't want to cuddle up next to a face full of coarse, bristly hair.
No Need to Worry About Getting Food Stuck In Your Beard
Any guy with a beard will tell you that their nest of facial hair quickly becomes a catch-all for any leftover food particles; a "flavor saver," if you will. With autumnal feasting and Thanksgiving on its way, skipping Movember will mean you can avoid looking like you don't know how to eat without wearing your food.
You'll Stand Out
These days, it seems like every single dude out there is some form of beard going on, almost to the point of cliche. Take a chance and stand out (particularly in the midst of “No Shave November”) by keeping your face clean of whiskers—and reap the benefits of emerging as a true individual who doesn't blindly follow trends.
You Won't Look Like a Crazy Person
Close your eyes and picture your stereotypical crazy guy. The type that yells at random strangers and talks to himself. Does he have a giant bush of facial hair? We thought so. Conversation over.
Your Morning Routine Will Be Much Faster
By skipping out on facial hair, you'll be saving both time and money. Not having to twist your 'stache just so and tame your bristles means every morning means you can sleep in longer. Plus, there's no need for extra grooming products that any respectable beard-owner spends their dough on.
Gandalf Isn't the Best Style Icon
Who doesn't love Gandalf? He's a kick-ass wizard who's been an instrumental player in saving Middle Earth on more than one occasion. Maybe you can let him be your spiritual and moral inspiration, but as for looking like a person that the outside world forgot for 500 years, not so much.
Beards Are a Distraction
When facial hair really sets in on your face, expect everyone from your boss to your family members to ask about it, complain about it, touch it, tell you to shave it—basically harass you over every detail of your beard. Skip the talking points.
Look Younger
Sure, guys may argue that shaving means you'll have a baby face. We know life's troubles have made you into a weathered, cynical pessimist, but is it really so bad to appear more upbeat and youthful?
Avoid Creepy Guy Comparisons
It's no secret that mustaches and other types of facial hair are associated with only the most creeptastic dudes and serial killers out there. Pre-emptively avoid comparisons to that weirdo who hangs outside the local Chuck E. Cheese by skipping Movember altogether and let other guys look like the people you cross the street to avoid.
No Itchiness
Beard hair is like copper wire that is growing out of your face. Naturally, that irritates your sensitive facial skin as it grows. Why force yourself to keep an itchy and irritating facemask for an entire month?
