Image via Complex Original
The future as presented in film is usually Utopian or pretty fuckin' bleak. One thing these two paths have in common though, is a unique style the human race has adopted in whatever year the film is set in. And if we are to take some of these movies as indicators, fashion could potentially be headed to a very bad place.
While future movies like this weekend's Divergent depict a future oppressed by corrupt governments and fascist societies, we're (slightly) less concerned with that outcome, and more with where swag is headed in the next era. Here are several outcomes we're praying don't come to pass. Read on for 10 Outfits From the Future We Hope Never Happen.
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"Number 12 Looks Just Like You," The Twilight Zone
Year: Unknown
In one of the more memorable potential futures presented in The Twilight Zone, after a certain age every man and woman undergoes the "Transformation" whereupon they emerge in a visage identical to everyone else. The only means of differentiation is a name-tag on a pretty basic futuristic jumper, which is just the most depressing, swagless thing ever. Personal style is one of the easiest ways to establish identity. In this future, even your nametag is the same font.
Arnold Schwarzenegger as Ben Richards in The Running Man
Year: 2019
The only thing more horrific than the government pitting criminals in a Hunger Games-esque fight to the death for entertainment is the wild outfits they make said convicts wear, like this Big Bird colored jumpsuit Schwarzenegger's forced to don. In five short years, this could potentially be a reality.
Gary Oldman and Chris Tucker as Zorg and Ruby in The Fifth Element
Year: 2263
In addition to painting one of the most memorable, colorful futuristic universes in all of science fiction cinema, Fifth Element also has the wildest outfits imaginable. Gary Oldman's villain Zorg is all emo side parts and unfortunate getups that scream 'eeeevil.' Meanwhile Chris Tucker's androgynous sidekick Ruby Rhod could qualify a Lady Gaga's influencer, except in that regard, she's only going half-speed.
The Men in Her
Year: Unknown
The not-too-distant future of Her sees the majority of the male population in a universal state of ultra #normcore—all bright shirts and grey pants, but it's worse than anything your dad wears now. Everyone, including our hero Theodore and most egregiously, his neighbor Charles, wears their pants on full Urkel-vertical, with the waistband pulled up to the belly button on its way to the armpits. Way more depressing state of affairs than human-CPU romance.
Judge Dredd
Year: 3rd millenium
On one hand, it'd be hard to take a police force that dressed like this seriously in any authoritative context. But then again, you might be pressured to comply lest you get tackled and manhandled by a cop judge in an outfit this pause-worthy.
The Men in Logan's Run
Year: 2274
This movie almost avoided the cut because we generally dig the spacey uniforms Logan and his fellow Sandmen wear. Then we remembered that he bumps into these unfortunate, brightly-colored souls pictured in right frame above and well, now it's easy to see why the Sandmen rebel against the current state of society.
Sean Connery as Zed in Zardoz
Year: 2293
If this is the future, let's just bow out gracefully as a species right now.
Alex and the Droogs in A Clockwork Orange
Year: Unknown
You only need one glance, from far away, to know to stay away Alex and his gang of merry trouble-making misfits, the droogs. All-white everything, top hats and suspenders...with bulky codpieces on the outside of the pants. It's not a stretch to assume these are a bunch of fellows who favor murdering and raping. Almost every future movie depicts gangs dressing in varying degrees of weird and wild. Apparently in a few decades we'll be yearning for the days when they just stuck to red or blue.
Dennis Hopper as The Deacon in Waterworld
Year: Circa 2500
The cool thing about the world going to shit is you can pretty much go for broke on style risks. The Deacon is basically a post-flood new-age pirate who dresses like he fished all of his clothes out of the water at random, and we wouldn't be surprised if the eyepatch is just a totally needless accessory to make his Red Beard cypher complete. When we hear "water-flooded planet," we imagine waterproof Timbs and Stutterheims, but that's just basic 2014-thinking apparently.
Humans in Planet of the Apes
Year: Unknown
In the future, we're the damn-dirty-apes and the primates have completely debilitated the human race to the point where our swag is back on Flinstones level. Which is honestly the worst part of the whole losing-control-of-the-planet thing.