Old Jerseys We Want to See Released as Throwbacks

Like sneakers, the retro jersey market is kind of a crapshoot. When it's time to cop that rare Grant Hill throwback or Eric Dickerson look of yesteryear, you're often subject to the business acumen of a creep on eBay that lets his cat sleep on the inventory and adds a zero or two to the retail tag. But an even bigger crime is the countless amount of jerseys that just haven't been retroed, period.

This is our plea to the marketers of our country's major sports leagues to issue a handful of vintage looks we're dying to rock on gameday, and every other day of the week. So if y'all want to placate both fans of sports and style, then please stock these Old Jerseys We Want to See Released as Throwbacks in your online stores so we can floss at the tailgate.

Written by Sean Evans (@seanseaevans)

Team: Cincinnati Royals
Year(s): 1960
As seen on: Oscar Robertson

The '60s-era Cincinnati Royals jersey isn't just a stylish kit with stacked lettering; it's a transcendent piece of NBA history. There was once a time when players wore belts in their shorts and elegance was the highest compliment you could pay to a dude's game, but—with all due respect to George Mikan and Bob Cousy—the league became decidedly more stylish when Oscar Robertson arrived. Our plea is for NBA.com to revive the timeless look in royal blue because we spilled a Corona tallboy on our white one and salsa stains are a bitch to wash out.

Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Year(s): 1978-1993
As seen on: Robin Yount

The '80s-era Milwaukee Brewers jersey is one of those timeless pieces of couture that you can rock anywhere. It stunts just as hard in Brown County drunk tanks as it does in the Wisconsin State Fair's nacho cheese chugging contest, and that's its charm. It's the official uniform of guys who can body bag a case of Miller High Life during a slow pitch softball game and still play solid defense at third base. Also, the yellow and blue mitt logo is the greatest symbol in sports history and if you have a problem with that then that probably means salad for lunch isn't a foreign concept to you,i.e. you're not from Wisconsin.

Team: Chicago Bears
Year(s): 1932-1940
As seen on: Bronko Nagurski

Today, the Bears rock the '30s-era throwback in a dark navy and orange colorway, but the white jersey is ridiculously clean. It'd be nice if the NFL released an authentic, long-sleeve version as well because Chicago winters are colder than Andy Dick's career.

This shit is so manly that we want the modern version made out of burlap and to arrive smelling like Chesterfield cigarettes and Sammy Baugh's blood. If that's not the greatest Christmas gift for the WWII veteran/season ticket holder in your family, we don't know what is.

Team: Vancouver Grizzlies
Year(s): 1995-2000
As seen on: Bryant Reeves

This isn't the world's coolest kit or anything, but we've all grown out of the Champion brand, kids size 10-12 basketball jerseys of our youth. If you want a Bryant Reeves throwback or the '96 Dream Team look these days, you'll have to buy a busted ass version from a hoarder on eBay at, like, an 11,000 percent mark-up. That thing will show up to your house missing two of the E's in "Reeves" and smelling like a decade's worth of YMCA men's league games.

We just want an entire section of NBAStore.com to be devoted to '90s-era big men. Is that too much to ask? C'mon David Stern, there's a $200 freelance writing check burning a hole in this pocket.

Team: Boston Bruins
Year(s): 1932-1936
As seen on: Eddie Shore

If you're between the ages of 6 and 12-years-old or 25 and 99-years-old and your name starts with "B," this is a must-have item. Old school hockey players are the best because they used to smash into one another on razor-sharp skates wearing nothing but a sweater and a deflated basketball on their heads for protection. The Depression-era Bruins weren't stifled from a style perspective by today's safety requirements and branding strategies, a manly environment that allowed for—in our humble opinions—the greatest understated jersey in NHL history.

Team: Los Angeles Rams
Year(s): 1951-1956
As seen on: Elroy "Crazylegs" Hisch

The Rams appear to be on a reverse evolution where each reinvented jersey is just a slight bastardization of the version it's replacing. Now, the team has an average look and plays in a horrible dome, which makes Sam Bradford & Co. almost unwatchable. The blue and gold look of the '80s and '90s is timeless and, as expected, is one of the most popular throwback jerseys. But before the "Greatest Show on Turf" and HD television, the Rams had one of the league's boldest looks. If you're passing on this one, you're wrong.

Team: Cincinnati Reds
Year(s): 1949-1964
As seen on: Ted Kluszewski

If the Reds wore this exact same get-up today, they'd go from having the worst uniforms in their division to the best in the National League. Longtime Reds first basemen Ted Kluszewski used to rock the vest WITHOUT sleeves and that's the only way to do it as far as we're concerned. Dude looked like a traveling carnival's strongman ripping 81 mph fastballs into the right field bleachers at old Crosley Field. The only way to break the team's 23-year championship drought is to get Jay Bruce, Joey Votto and the rest of those goons in Cincy to follow suit. Trust.

Team: Atlanta Falcons
Year(s): 1984-1989
As seen on: Deion Sanders

Most throwback efforts are tailored to captivate the home crowd for obvious reasons. But given the tiresome monotony of NFL road uniforms, more teams should channel the vintage logos and dated jersey fonts from the away uniforms of yesteryear.

From the Cowboys to the Packers, today's away jerseys are just an interchangeable template of names and numbers. By reviving the old school white jerseys, the league gives fans a much cleaner color option and will profit when stubborn nacho cheese stains force a repeat purchase.

Team: Seattle Totems
Year(s): 1958-1975
As seen on: Guyle Fielder

You probably don't know anything about the Seattle Totems, but we bet you'd cut off your right foot for that jersey that's pretty similar looking to the Supreme piece Frank Ocean wore on Saturday Night Live. In recent years, the hockey look has grown beyond the mugshots of Canadian criminals to claim a pervasive spot in pop culture.

The Totems' kit is sharp and—beyond that—it pays homage to Seattle, a great American sports city that's been robbed of its professional hockey and basketball teams. This is a rare piece that's equal parts social commentary and absolute comfort; the perfect go-to for stunting on cozy boy levels.

Team: Houston Oilers
Year(s): 1975-1980
As seen on: Earl Campbell

We know the Titans wear a Houston Oilers "throwback" as an alternate jersey, but it's not really like the one Dan Pastorini used to sport when he was firing into triple coverage all afternoon long. Leagues really need to pay attention to the era-specific details while retroing these kits, and—when it comes to the Oilers—we need to see all of the charmingly tasteless menutia. Don't butter up the mid-'70s for us, NFL. We don't have time for your revisionist style history.

A REAL Earl Campbell throwback needs the sleeve details and enough room for four sets of shoulder pads. Oh, and if you're going to mark it up to $299.95, it wouldn't hurt to throw in some free elbow pads and a neck roll for authenticity's sake.