Image via Complex Original
You probably think you have really awesome style. You peruse menswear blogs, websites like this, and have an Instagram feed of daily updated selfies. We've got news for you, man. This whole time you've been ripping off Minnesotans. Blatantly. And we have the proof. Minnesota's more than just Kirby Puckett, a giant mall and a shitload of lakes. It's a fashion mecca where many of the looks and trends that you rock today were first realized. Don't believe us? Take a look the 12 Style Tips We Learned From Minnesotans.
Nothing Makes A Tee Flyer Than A Pissed Off Animal Face
Minnesotans share a connection with nature, mostly from blowing the heads off of white-tailed deer during hunting season. For decades they've been rocking realistically detailed, totally pissed off animals on their t-shirts and it's not because they idolize a self-aggrandizing rapper with a braided belt. While you blow your bartending tips on a Givenchy shirt featuring a barking pitbull or frowning shark, realize that Minnesotans are years ahead of you at pennies on the dollar.
Trapper Hat > Your Hat
You lose 80% of your body heat through your head. To survive a Duluth winter, Minnesotans need an all-encompassing piece of headgear that cooks and, of course, looks fly as hell. The trapper hat is equal parts "Bow on my arrival" and "Yea, I'm freezing my ass off." It's a status symbol and, if you lose a generator at your International Falls cabin, it might save your life.
En Lieu Of Formal Wear, There Are Hockey Jerseys
The male equivalent to "that little black dress" is an extra large, Molson stained hockey jersey. Jerseys are a universal catchall that go with almost anything and no man's wardrobe is compete without one. They're perfect for first dates, weddings, and charming your way through DUI checkpoints.
FOH PETA
It's easy to advocate for animal rights when your daily routine isn't constantly interrupted by aggressive wildlife. In a typical morning commute, most Minnesotans will encounter a cougar or hostile badger that, in order to arrive at work on time, they'll have to grapple with their bare hands. It's also incredibly cold and wind gusts off of Lake Superior can freeze men in their tracks. Nothing warms like the hides of two dozen beavers and it's an awesome look, clearly.
Headphones As An Accessory
The Second Amendment says that you have the right to look totally awesome in a set of cumbersome, noise cancelling ear blankets. Minnesotans have been turning the firing range into a runway for years. Lil' Wayne may have made the look "cool" while sitting court side at a Heat game, but sugarbeet farmers from St. Cloud have been rocking the rhinestone-coated Beats by Dre look since before he was born.
Stand Out By Blending In
You know when you need to wear camouflage? When you're big game hunting or on a military operation behind enemy lines. You know when you don't need to wear camouflage? Pretty much any other time. That hasn't stopped camo-loaded street wear brands like BAPE and 10.Deep from marketing clothes to people who, presumably, won't be using them to fire crossbow arrows through unsuspecting bears.
Superstore Swag
While you thumb your nose at discount retailers from your shit hole apartment, Minnesotans shop for reasonably priced, quality threads at Target. They don't have to wait in line to cop, either. Minnesotans like to spend their weekends camping, but they're not pathetic enough to do it for a pair of Jordans or a snakeskin snap back or whatever.
Think of Mossimo as a Supreme for guys who don't want to look like an army of affected youth at an Odd Future show. Under Armour is so 2004, C9 by Champion is making moves, man—don't be late to that party. And nothing turns heads at the club like a pair of Wrangler cargo pants. Thank us later.
Pockets Over Everything
You don't need to own a pair of waders to understand how dope fishing apparel can be. Drake wouldn't know a surface lure from an artificial fly, but that hasn't stopped him from dressing like he’s opening an on-body bait and tackle shop. If nothing else, Minnesotans have taught us that clothing is just as much about function as it is form. If you're looking for an ostentatious way to make your style more practical, simply add pockets.
Brood So Hard
If we've learned anything from the Twilight movies, it's that a brooding facial expression can be as valuable a fashion accessory as a canary diamond chain. But long before Edward built a sex appeal empire on walking aimlessly through the Washington wilderness, Brandon Walsh stared in deep reflective thought to the collective "awww" of a lovestruck nation. Walsh was the gang's hinge point on Beverly Hills 90210 and, like most Minneapolis natives, had an adorable simplemindedness and a little bit of a drinking problem. Even if you have the world's worst wardrobe, you can still be stylish by remaining frozen in a moment of reflection at all times.
Top It All Off
Did Bob Dylan invent hats? No. But he made wearing them awesome. Dylan pioneered the not-trying-too-hard- thing that's since been bastardized by clowns like Russell Brand and Johnny Depp. Dylan, in true Minnesotan spirit, knew that even the drabbest of hand me down threads can be overlooked with a really cool hat.
Get That Golden Ticket
Morris Day, in addition to being a proud Minnesotan, was birthed from the sketchy funk-rock scene of the '70s and '80s. If you can't tell, peep his pencil thin mustache and NBA draft pick style. There's not much money in selling CDs, so to be a successful musician these days, you have to dress like a complete lunatic and regularly Instagram pictures of your crotch. Average musicians turned fashion icons like Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj can thank Day for trailblazing a place in pop culture for tasteless creeps.
Don't Be Afraid To Ruffle It Up
Prince and Bob Dylan are both Minnesotans, which means that everyone from Beyonce to Joseph Gordon-Levitt has taken a little something from the state's illustrious style history. Few state's can run the style gamut from ass-less chaps to fedoras, but Minnesota makes it look easy. You have to give credit where it's due, and no state is fresher than the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
