ARE YOUR MANLY LIPS SO MANLY THAT YOU NEED MANLY LIP BALM TO REMEDY THEIR MANLY CHAPPING? Well, you're covered because this fucking joker has raised almost $6,000 and counting for lip balm for men. It's called Dude Stick because some people are just really bad at naming things, this guy in particular.
Who would even think of entering such a saturated market? This is a fucking death wish. Everyone knows there are only two choices here: ChapStick or Burt's Bees. That's it. Don't even think of coming at me with that Blistex or Carmex bullshit. But that's besides the point because unlike the agenda that Dude Stick is trying to sell you, last time I checked men don't need a special lip balm engineered for the sheer GRIT and DETERMINATION that their lips possess and women's do not. Your girlfriend's delicious, fruity-smelling shit will work just as well even if you're too pathetic to admit it. How fragile is your sense of self-confidence that you absolutely refuse to use some basic fucking ChapStick from the gas station? "Nope, that shit is gay," you say as your lips crack and bleed like a fucking psychopath even though cinnamon-flavored ChapStick is amazing. Obviously, Dude Stick comes in a matte black case so you can show it off in your essential "everyday carry" 'gram for the 10 other mall ninjas who followed you by mistake. Re-evaluate your whole shit.
