Tom Ford, always one to push boundaries, continues his warpath of controversy, only this time it's a smaller issue than his racy advertisements. No, but, like, really, way smaller. It's this $790 penis necklace. Let's be real, people have been trying to sneak dicks into everything since the dawn of time. Just Google "hidden penis Disney" and you'll find thousands of results, as well as end up on a NSA watch list. But Mr. Ford, never one to hide behind subtlety, was like, "Fuck that, here's a dick necklace LOL."
Here's the best part: He's offering multiple sizes of this phallic statement piece because penises, like their owners, come in all shapes and sizes, of course. You can cop a small, medium, or large size in white gold or silver because, at the end of the day, size doesn't actually matter, does it? It's all about how you utilize what God gave you. But for real, who the fuck is going to buy a penis pendant and rocking that shit out in public? Actually, wait a second, now that I think about it, Young Thug is probably gonna get one and I won't be able to say shit because Young Thug is the coolest person of all time and rocking a penis around your neck is about to be really cool, I bet. If you're really in it to win it, I guess this is ambiguous enough to wear in front of your mom without her asking any questions. In fact, she'll probably think you finally found God and might even pay it forward with some extra Christmas cash, which you can save up to buy another dick chain. Everybody wins. Especially Tom Ford, who just sold you a gold wiener for 800 bucks.
