So-Called 'Anti-Sex Beds' at Olympics Easily Debunked by People Who’ve Actually Had Sex Before

Not having sex while competing in Paris for the world's biggest athletic event? Inconceivable.

Man in hard hat and hi-vis vest sits on bed with "Paris 2024" logo, in Olympic Village room
Man in hard hat and hi-vis vest sits on bed with "Paris 2024" logo, in Olympic Village room

So-called "anti-sex beds" are at the center of a slew of Olympics-related headlines this week thanks to an apparent lack of imagination that’s gripping the entire planet at the moment.

At any rate, here’s the short of it: As seen in an increasingly widely referenced and/or aggregated New York Post slice of reliably ludicrous salaciousness, Airweave is indeed providing thousands of beds for the upcoming 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris. These aren’t just any old beds, however, as they mark a return to virality, of sorts, for an environmentally friendly design that previously bounced into the news cycle amid coverage of the mid-pandemic 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo.

A prior Inside the Games report by Geoff Berkeley circa July 2023 noted that the cardboard beds in question are "largely made from recycled material," with Airweave founder Motokuni Takaoka, clearly at odds with how the beds are joked about among non-Olympians, making a point to highlight what he said was their decidedly "strong" construction.

🛏️ Airweave CEO Motokuni Takaoka jumped on a recyclable cardboard bed that will be used by athletes at the Paris Olympics to demonstrate its strength in a presentation alongside Paris 2024 President Tony Estanguet

— Reuters (@Reuters) July 13, 2023

This, of course, is in line with what happened amid bed chatter during Tokyo festivities. Merely burdening athletes with laughably small beds is not in and of itself a deterrent for fucking, thus calling these things "anti-sex beds" is both a bit of a reach and an act of disrespect toward humankind’s repeatedly proven ingenuity when it comes to all manner of fuckery. In 2021, the Olympics expressed agreement with this assessment by thanking gymnast Rhys Mcclenaghan for "debunking the myth."

Thanks for debunking the myth.😂You heard it first from @TeamIreland gymnast @McClenaghanRhys - the sustainable cardboard beds are sturdy! #Tokyo2020

— The Olympic Games (@Olympics) July 19, 2021

Adding to that is the fact that, as reported earlier this year, there is no "intimacy ban" in place this time around. Furthermore, hundreds of thousands of condoms will be made available.

But will any of that halt the jokes ahead of the July kickoff of the 2024 Summer Olympics? Of course not. Below, take the proverbial plunge. Thankfully, while the jokes are indeed flying as high as one might expect, plenty of people have also pointed out how it's actually pretty unfair to outright deem these as "anti-sex beds," but I digress. I always fucking digress.

"oh well, that seems slightly uncomfortable or awkward, I'll just give up" say group of athletes gifted with almost superhuman focus, endurance, and commitment to achieving their goals

— Aaron Bady (@zunguzungu) May 15, 2024

joke is on me for even using a ny post link as a prop for a joke

— Aaron Bady (@zunguzungu) May 15, 2024

imagine the hubris required to think you created a bed that the most athletic people in existence couldn’t fuck on

— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) May 15, 2024

What’s anti-sex about this bed? The fact that it’s twin-sized? Obviously whoever came up with this idea has never been in a college dorm.

— Loni™ (@AmazonLoni) May 14, 2024

TF is an anti-sex bed?! Baby, we was fucking on that XL twin sumn serious in undergrad..

— C. Spaulding, VP of MKT (@d0mocracy) May 14, 2024

what if we fucked on the paris olympics anti-sex bed

— gabriela 📚 (@chaimartini) May 15, 2024

🤣🤣 How is this an anti-sex bed??? Does if fling you off if it senses bouncing? What's stopping them from having sex on the floor? Humpty once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

— Habitual Wine Sipper 🥃 (@DukeOfDrinkwell) May 15, 2024

A bed I can break by fucking is more of an invitation than a deterrent

— Shotgun seed sower (@ArmyStrang) May 15, 2024

now why would you set professional competitive athletes a challenge

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) May 15, 2024

‘Anti-sex’ beds have arrived at Paris Olympics

— Aidan James (@mcandidate) May 15, 2024

‘Anti-sex’ beds have arrived at Paris Olympics

— george (@deejaygeejaygee) May 15, 2024

If this stops you from having sex get the fuck out of the Olympics.

— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) May 15, 2024

I’m obsessed with the Olympics committee holding meeting after meeting on designing beds that are hard to fuck in while forgetting that they are the literal strongest people in the world. They can do things standing up babes! Showers! even floor with a blanket! nerds

— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) May 15, 2024

part of the reason athletes go to competitions is to have sex with other athletes

kill the puritan in your head, sex is good actually

— taylor 🗡️🌹 (@turnintoabat) May 15, 2024

any bed can be an ‘anti-sex’ bed, just throw one of these on

— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) May 15, 2024

An Olympic anti "anti-sex bed" protest poem:

I don't need a bed for sex
I can have sex anywhere
I don't need to lay down
I can get it in here or there.

I can bust it open on a train
I can bust it wide on a plane
Sex can be had anywhere
I'll even have sex on your stairs.


— Sassington, M.C. (@MissSassbox) May 15, 2024

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