The 5 Types of People Who Drive Cadillac Escalades

Image via Complex Original

When you ask somebody what is the best car to have sex on top of, there's about a 96.24451 percent (based on absoltuely zero data whatsoever) chance that they'll get all excited, and, on beat, say "in the sun or up in the shade, on the top of my Es-ca-lade!" Be warned, they might go on to rap the entire song, because it's one of those tracks that seemingly everybody knows all the lyrics. When a vehicle commands that much relation to a genre of music, it's no wonder that so many rappers are seen whipping the big SUV (we see you Joe Budden!)

There are three vehicles you see in large lines, protecting some important person in the center of caravan: Escalades and Chevy Suburbans and Tahoes, which, under the GM umbrella, are all extremely similar. Tinted with chrome accents is the preferred look.

Jason Kidd, Tiger Woods, we're thinking of you guys. Probably because yours were both smashed to bits in pretty notorious crashes, one involving infidelity, the other involving driving drunk. However, plenty of other responsible adult (well, sort of adult) athletes have been seen driving the go-to SUV. It's usually either this or a Range Rover Sport.

If you're lucky, important, or rich, you won't be taking a cab on your visit into the city or your big night out. That's what Escalades are for. They're big, so you can fit plenty of people with you, and they're luxurious, so you're extremely comfortable. The people up in the driver's seats are pretty fortunate, too, as this is probably one of the best vehicles as a driver that you could be "stuck" in all night.

There was a point in the '90s when moms went from driving minivans to SUVs. Many claimed that they loved the bulkiness, the high viewpoint, and the safety they felt from driving the larger vehicles. When it comes to the wealthier, it was defintiely a symbol of status, as well. People see a minivan and scoff, turning their heads at the idea of driving that. People see an Escalade and are often impressed by its styling, its privacy, and the feeling of importance that inherently comes with it. So, moms, even with only one or two kids, started buying these beasts.