The Best Stock Sleeper Cars of All Time

For the most part, we want our fast cars to look as badass as they are. Sometimes, we even make them look more badass than they are. The problem with a fast looking car, however, is that everybody expects it to be fast. People stare waiting for a cloud of smoke and a dramatic take-off; depending on the car, people point and take pictures; cops are more likely to give you a ticket because "that fast car" caught their eye.

This is why some people prefer a sleeper: a car that looks unimpressive, but conceals all of the mechanical goodness of a bona fide sports car. When the minivan smokes a Mustang at the stop lights, people are shocked, amused and impressed. That's why today we're featuring The Best Stock Sleeper Cars of All Time. Time to wake up and smell the exhaust fumes.

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Engine: 3.5L EcoBoost V6
Power: 365 hp

Even the name sounds slow. The key to this transformation, however, is that "EcoBoost" is code for the same 365 hp turbo V6 that is in the current generation Taurus SHO. The result is that dad's weird "I couldn't decide between a Mini and a commercial van" vehicle is really damn fast.

Engine: 6.0L W12
Power: 444 hp

The VW Phaeton looked like nothing more than a conspicuously long Passat. Or, as one reader eloquently put it, "a Passat that was really into protein shakes." So much so, in fact, that most people never noticed that it wasn't a Passat until the roar of a massive W12 engine came out of the back of the car and it rocketed some low-profile rich guy away in a cocoon of Bentley-spec leather. That's right, this was basically a Bentley Continental in disguise.

Engine: 2.2L Turbo I4
Power: 175 hp

The Dodge Omni never inspired anyone to do anything interesting until Carroll Shelby decided to slap the initials "GLH" for "Goes Like Hell" to the back of the name and turn it into a car that made the VW GTI cower in fear. These things were hitting low 14s in the quarter, completely stock.

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Engine: 4.3L Turbo V6
Power: 280 hp

It looked like a light duty truck; the kind of thing that an exterminator or local handyman might be driving, but it was actually designed for the drag strip/as the perfect getaway vehicle for a heist. It's more than 20 years old and it's still the fastest thing GMC has ever released, hitting 60 mph in just 4.3 seconds.

Engine: 3.0L V6 / 3.2L V6 / 3.4L V8 / 3.5L EcoBoost V6
Power: 220 hp / 220 hp / 235 hp / 365 hp

The Ford Taurus is the Camry for people who are too Midwestern to consider buying a "Japanese" car (the Kogod Made in America index gives the Camry a 78.5 out of 100 for America-ness). You expect to see it calmly transporting 2.3 children and some groceries. The SHO (Super High Output) never looked considerably different from the regular Taurus, but the engine under the hood always meant that it drove in a very, very different manner.

The groceries were a smoothie by the time the SHO got home.

Engine: 4.6L V8
Power: 315 hp

We don't know anybody who drives a Mercury who isn't either older than 70 or inherited it from a grandparent. This, however, is not your grandmother's Mercury. This is a 302hp tire-destroyer. It's the equivalent of a heavyweight boxer wearing pleated khakis up to his rib cage.

Engine: 2.14L Turbo I4
Power: 150 on the street, 350 on track.

Volvo has made a number of surprisingly badass, but boring-as-hell-looking, cars over the years, and none was more amazing than the 240. It was more reliable than the competition, it was safer than the competition, and it was a hell of a lot faster than the competition. The 240 won the British Touring Car Championship in 1985.

Engine: 2.2L Turbo I5
Power: 311 hp

Audi has never been terribly keen on making its performance models look terribly different from its regular models, with the notable exception of the R8, and the RS2 is no different. This tiny little hatchback was rocking a 315hp I5 that sent it to 30 mph faster than a McLaren F1 and to 60 mph in a healthy 4.7 seconds. Yes, this 20-year-old car is still fast by today's standards.

Engine: 3.8L Turbo V6
Power: 245 hp / at least 300 for the GNX

The very word "Buick" causes everything to start moving a bit slower, and it gives the person saying it three new wrinkles and an bizarre desire to watch "Matlock." What's great about Buick, however, is that just when you think you've got the brand pigeon-holed into nothing but octogenarianism (It's a word now, because misters Merriam and Webster are both still afraid of me), there's an insanely awesome breakout car. The Grand National, and the limited run GNX, were the apex of that particular trait.

Hell, the GNX could manage a 4.7 second 0-60 in 1987, when Ferrari wasn't even doing that yet. A Ferrari-beating Buick will always be one of the all-time greatest achievements from the GM camp.

Engine: 6.2L V8
Power: 500 hp

A lot of people were upset when Mercedes unveiled the R63 because, despite the company's protestations, it was indeed a minivan. People were mostly just baffled when the R63 AMG was announced. Who is going to want to buy a minivan with the berserk powertrain of the C63 in it? There is no more ludicrously unlikely performance car in the world.

As it turned out, lots of people. It was a limited run, and owners are routinely given business cards that say "when you want to sell it, call..."