Image via Complex Original
We love cars, and that means that we like to talk to other people who love cars and talk about cars. It's that simple. There are, however, some things that us gearheads refuse to admit, be it about our cars, about cars in general, or about car culture. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that we ostrich about (and yes, we know "ostrich" isn't a verb).
Here's the stuff that you won't hear said aloud at any cars and coffee shows across the nation.
Related: 10 Common Car Problems You Shouldn't Need a Mechanic To Fix
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"I'm always fixing it."
If you spend more time fixing your beloved Triumph than you spend driving it, you're likely to tell all your friends that it runs like a dream, so they don't judge your weird addiction.
"My classic car is objectively worse than a newer vehicle."
We think old cars are cool and full of personality. We also think they can be more fun than new cars, but it's silly not to realize that new cars are faster, better handling, more efficient, and safer than ever before.
"I never clean it."
Even if it has never been cleaned, the owner always says "I can't believe I've let this go so long; it's embarrassing." Only the "embarrassing" bit is truth in that statement.
"This was a compromise."
In reality, nobody buys a VW GTI because it's the one car they truly wanted. People buy GTIs because its a sporty car that can still carry kids, cargo, friends, etc. and gets good fuel economy.
"This car is so uncomfortable"
Sport-tuned suspensions just don't soak up the bumps like softer set ups do. Why petroleum addicts won't admit this is beyond us.
"I bought the wrong car."
As the person our circle of friends goes to with their car problems, we have a reputation to uphold. So even if we do regret having to maintain a cheap '72 Bentley every day, we can't admit that. At least not until the offending car has been sold.
"It was better before I modded it."
Here's one that a ton of people should be saying but aren't. We see more crappy turbo jobs than good ones, more terrible aftermarket suspensions then good ones, and more hideous body-kits than good ones. Perhaps the engineers knew best.
"I don't know how to change the oil."
If you can't do your own basic maintenance, you can't call yourself a gearhead. It's plain and simple. Please go read this and this, then get back to us.
"My car and its competition are closely matched."
No Mustang owner will ever admit that a Camaro is just about the same performance-wise. It's always, "Chevy sucks" or something to that effect.
"This isn't the fastest thing for the money."
No car guy is going to admit that he chose anything but the fastest car in the segment. Even if you present a VW Golf R owner with numerical data that a Subaru WRX STI is faster, he'll claim the Golf R handles better, and is therefore faster overall. It's not about what the owner actually thinks, it's about ego shielding.
"It's too damn loud."
Sports cars have loud engines, loud tires, and loud everything, partially because it's cool and partially because insulation is heavy and expensive. On road trips this gets really annoying, but to say that would be to admit fault and acknowledge that other types of cars are sometimes better than sports cars.
"This car is beyond my skill."
We all could have been F1 champions, or least least WTCC competitors ... that's what we tell ourselves when taking roundabouts a bit too fast, at least.
"Two seats aren't enough."
Let's face it, if you have a girl and a friend, and you should, there will be times you'll want more than one other seat. And when you find out all that fun you've been having with your girl is actually going to result in a little you, nobody really wants to think about having to sell their favorite sports car.
"My sports car is bankrupting me."
There are so many guys out there who bought the car they wanted without stopping to see if that had the salary to afford it. If you work at Moe's Southwestern Grill you can't afford a Mitsubishi Lancer EVO. You also can't afford the premium gas for it, and you also can't afford the insane insurance premiums.
Of course, nobody is going to admit this, and they'll usually come up with some BS excuse when it comes time to sell. "I really just thought that this old Corolla was more fun. Plus, you know, environment stuff!"
"My car torque-steers a ton."
You're allowed to love a high powered, front-driven car like a Mazdaspeed3 or a Chevy Impala, but don't be so insecure about the fact that you bought a FWD ride that you get angry if people ask you about torque steer. Just pretending it doesn't exist won't make it go away, won't change the fact that your car is FWD, and won't make us stop asking about us. Just own up to it.